Project Kingdom Hearts
by Venjess
Summary: A boy with a power, a power-hungry Organisation, an author who is terrible at summaries. It's like Maximum Ride, Kingdom Hearts style. Rated T for Terrible (acutally its rated for violence and character death). CURRENTLY BEING REWRITTEN
1. Mamma Always Said

**Okay then... I've decided to rewrite PKH because I just... really didn't like how it went, I think... my writing started out good then it just gradually spiralled downwards into a never-ending pit of darkness and despair and OOC characters.**

**Um... this version is going to downplay the romance A LOT, it really didn't fit in well I think, when I went through the original, it seemed... forced and I didn't like it.**

**So... yeah.**

**Roxas: Then... why are you just replacing this chapter? Wouldn't it better to... delete the story and start over?**

**...**

**Yeah...**

**But... I... I mean, there are probably going to be people who are like... half way through or something and I'm sure they kinda just want to finish the story so that they can move on with their life.**

**Roxas: *frowns* O...kay then...?**

**Roxas: I guess this chapter is kinda like... giving everyone an idea as to how different the two versions are going to be and sort of... what to expect from the updated one**

**Yup! And it feels like this is some kind of interview for some reason -.-**

**Anyway, um... some things might seem to overlap, take this chapter for example, I explain the 'Zoo Incident' here, but I have it in the second chapter for my original version, and I can't take the second chapter down because it has other needed info on it and I'm not ready to upload the replacement chapter**

**Roxas: Well enough blabbing, Jessica doesn't own Kingdom Hearts and she never will**

**Unless I get extremely lucky and Tetsuya Nomura/Square Enix decides to hand over all rights to it to me for... some unknown reason**

**Um...**

**On to the story!**

* * *

**Chapter One: Mamma Always Said…**

_'Children are trusting… it's not necessarily a good thing'_

The two boys that ran down the streets were identical. They were five, slightly smaller than most kids their age. They had deceivingly spiky hair that belied its softness, the sun-bleached blonde rose up like a wave to one side of their head. This bizarre hairstyle was a source of immense bafflement for others, it was completely natural, and yet, their mother possessed dark, straight hair that fell down her back like satin. '_Their father_' they'd whisper sagely to one another, '_they never knew him, just upped and away when he discovered she was pregnant. The probably get that hair from him._'

The two boys were twins, with baby-ish faces and easy smiles; as they ran towards home, one after the other, the elder turned back to taunt the younger behind, his blue eyes sparkled amusement and mischief, at the sight of his brother far behind. The identical face behind him screwed into a frustrated expression, eyes flashing with irritation; with renewed determination, the boy picked up speed, racing after his twin.

This was Roxas.

He had always been considered a little different, unlike his older twin, Ventus- rather, Ven- he was more quiet and shy, that in itself wasn't so odd, it was how this boy gave off an aura of mystery and magic. He would smile like any other child, but there was always something else, behind that childish play, something, that maybe even Roxas himself did not know of.

This belief had merely been strengthened by 'The Zoo Incident'.

Not too long ago, little Roxas went to the zoo with his beloved mother and twin. Whilst there, a catastrophe occurred, one of the animals- a tiger- had escape from its cage, now prowling around the zoo unhindered. In the rush to evacuate, Roxas was separated from his mother and twin, terrified, the woman had turned back, struggling against the panicked crowd.

It is said that there was a bright explosion of light from the area in which the tiger had prowled, when the zoo keepers ran to subdue the beast and discover the source of the odd light, they found Roxas crouched on the ground, playing with a pair of intricately carved keys around his neck. He chortled and smiled up innocently at the astounded zoo keepers, before telling them with the air of one imparting some great secret, "the stripey cat doesn't like shiny lights."

Behind him crouched the tiger, terrified, blinded and mewling in pain.

Some claim the light was a trick, maybe people had mistaken the bright light of the sun for something else, something more… magical. But no matter how people tried to explain it away, there was always one aspect that didn't fit.

Roxas had been treated with the utmost caution from then on, by everyone except for his mother and his twin.

* * *

Roxas halted, panting, bending over to catch his breath; he looked up and pouted as he watched Ven's receding figure as the boy ran on ahead, he didn't bother trying to run after him again, Ven had always been stronger than him, despite the identical appearance, the two were really quite different. The sky grew darker, Roxas' stomach growled, he pouted again, sticking out his bottom lip in despair at the knowledge that Ven would probably have reached home by now and be eating dinner.

He looked up at the sky, _'mamma will be worried if I don't hurry,_' he thought to himself. His town was a sleepy little place, one of those small, friendly towns where everyone knew everyone else, you didn't have to worry about people preying on your children, the inhabitants were all acquaintances or friends, and they rarely had strangers from other places. So the children were given free reign, to play and explore as they pleased, being reminded by their parents to be home by dark, not so much in fear of strangers, more worry that they could lose their way in the dark, or that if they took too long to come home, they would arrived to a cold dinner.

Roxas whinged softly to himself as he walked, it was a cold night and a cold dinner was most certainly not welcome, they could heat it up in the microwave again, but it wouldn't taste the same. He walked on, sulkily kicking rocks and pebbles ahead of him, past one house, hen another, then an alley, then- he stopped, looking back, was that a groan? He backed up until he was standing, once more, in front of the alley, the darkness inside was absolute, he couldn't see a thing.

The groan came again and Roxas started; uncertainly, he edged into the darkness, it wrapped around him like a cloak, the street light's brightness was unable to penetrate it. Roxas paused for a moment, squinting and peering forwards as he attempted to make out what- rather, who- had caused that sound; there was an easier way, of course, but he had no intention of using _that_, only Ven knew about it, besides, his control wasn't perfect yet. His eyes adjusted and he saw a few garbage cans, rubbish stacked haphazardly around them and, behind those cans, a large bulky object. Roxas squeaked with fright as that object moved, sitting up and turning to him. He paused in his hasty retreat when he saw it was a man, a tall, bulky man with strange hair and thick eyebrows.

Roxas paused, it is often the case, in a town like his, that the parents do not fear for the safety of their child when it comes to a menace such as kidnappers and murderers, these parents do not worry about teaching their children to fear these things either. The children learnt to be kind and respectful to all people, such a concept as 'stranger danger' did not exist. So it was that Roxas walked towards the man who now bore an odd, unpleasant smile; an older, more wary person would have seen the malice behind that smile.

But Roxas did not.

He knew only the teachings, the things he had been told by his mother, the instructions she had given him in certain situations and so despite the odd urge to flee, he walked forward, heart racing towards the man who seemed to be in need of some aid. He stopped in front of the man, he could see- despite the darkness- that even sitting down, this curious man was larger than he was, he towered over him.

"Excuse me, Mister," he began in his most polite voice, as he had been taught to do by his mother, "do you need help?" the man groaned and pulled himself to his feet. Startled, Roxas backed up to give him more room, he craned his neck up until he got a crick in his neck to look at the man's face, feeling a thrill of fear at the realisation of just how _big_ this man was.

But mother had always stressed the importance of being polite.

So he stayed rooted to the spot, meeting the eyes of the stranger who looked down at him, the face that smiled an untrue smile. "Hi kid," the man said gruffly, at such a common-place greeting Roxas felt himself relax, "hello Sir, do you need help?" he replied, repeating his earlier question. The chuckled embarrassedly, "well you see, my friends and I came here for a bit and I wanted to practise some magic but my friends didn't feel like coming with me so I left on my own and it seems I got rather hopelessly lost and…" he trailed, shrugging helplessly, but Roxas had stopped paying attention, he was gazing up at the man in awe, "can you do magic?" he asked in a hushed tone.

The man looked surprised, as though he hadn't realised he had said- nor had he intended to say- anything about magic, he smirked, 'would you like to see some?" he asked. Roxas nodded and the man raised a hand, instantly, wind rushed into the alley, blowing through Roxas' spiky hair and lifting up the rubbish, flinging it everywhere like confetti; Roxas squinted against the sudden force, looking up at the man who was causing it.

As he watched, the hand was lowered and the wind died off, "can you do that type of thing? Can you do magic?" the man asked eagerly, Roxas hesitated, there was a look in the man's eye that suggested he already knew the answer, and that- for Roxas- it couldn't mean anything good. But why would this man hurt him? Surely he meant no harm.

He smiled shyly, "mine isn't as cool," he confessed, flushing with embarrassment; the man's eyes glittered, "any magic is cool, Roxas," the man told him, and Roxas, so delighted by the prospect of having someone else who shared his magic, didn't even realise he had never told his name. he concentrated, biting his lip and frowning, he wasn't very good at controlling his magic just yet, he'd sometimes practise with Ven watching; Ven knew about his powers, but had none of his own to speak of himself. Yet another difference between the two.

He giggled as light swelled out from his palm, filling the alley and lighting up the face of the man next to him, looking down at the boy with a leer that went unnoticed. Roxas smiled triumphantly up at the man, pleased that his magic had worked particularly well. The man clapped his hands together lightly in congratulations, ruffling the boy's soft spikes, "do you want to come back to where I'm staying?" he asked the boy, "I bet my friends would love to see you magic," Roxas hesitated, glancing back over his shoulder, didn't the man say he was lost? "My dinner will get cold," he mumbled finally.

The man laughed, "don't worry about it," he said, "you can have dinner with my friends and I instead," he paused before adding with the embarrassed air of someone who had forgotten something obvious, "I'm Xaldin, by the way," he smiled, "come on kid, it'll be fine," he held out his hand to the boy.

Roxas gazed at the man- Xaldin's- hand with a mix of anticipation and trepidation, he wanted to meet these people who could do magic like he could, and yet, he couldn't shake off that feeling that this wasn't _safe_, that this person was being completely honest. He raised his hand, it was much smaller than Xaldin's, it was pale and trembling and he realised with surprise that he was shaking all over. He looked up at the man, fear and dread rose inside of him and he experienced a strong desire to simply turn and run away. Go home and eat his weird-tasting microwaved dinner, forget that he ever spoke to the man. But running would be rude.

And mamma always said to be polite.

* * *

**Okay... uh... yeah :)**

**Here's the first rewritten chapter, hope you all liked it, how was it compared to the original? Better? Worse?**

**Roxas: You have me walk off with some random stranger in the very first chapter**

**Yup! Aren't I nice**

**But seriously though, it's necessary**

**Roxas: *glares***

**Don't look at me like that!**

**Anyway, review and uh... check out... some of my other... stories...?**


	2. Drifting

**This is the second chapter, I want to get this up here now before I forget, also, it just doesn't sit well with my perfectionist side that I have only one chapter up for a story that is longer than that. So, I've already typed up a few of my chapters, and I'm putting this one up here because I can.**

**Uh... school today, grr... it sucked, and I have piano tomorrow morning at like eight, and I'm thinking 'hello? It's the weekend! It's almost a ****_crime_**** to be up so godamn early!' Very annoyed about it.**

**Whaetevs... I didn't make myself an account on this (which for me and my terrible affinity with computors, is no easy task) just to natter and complain about my day. This is the next chapter (by the way, the next few chapters at least will probably be mostly full of explaining, and it might confuse you, or I might not have done a very good job, just warning you).**

**Discalimer: I am poor and own nothing (at least nothing of worth that had to do with Kingdom Hearts or any of those things), so yeah, Kingdom Hearts does not belong to me *sob* I have to admit this.**

**Roxas: Oh grow up**

**That's rude**

**Roxas: *shrugs and walks away***

**H-hey!**

* * *

**Chapter Two: Drifting**

_'Drifting… years spent unknown, where is your family? …Where are you?'_

When he awoke, he was secured to a bench, people moving around him, dressed in white lab coats. Fear fluttered in his stomach, before Roxas swallowed it determinedly, "let me go," he croaked, voice dry.

They ignored him, at least for a while.

After some time, a blonde walked over to him, checking the straps around his wrists and ankles to make sure they were secure. Then he smiled, but it wasn't reassuring, it was a morbidly excited smile, and it scared Roxas all the more.

"I suppose you're wondering why you're here?" he heard someone ask, softly. Roxas twisted his head around as far as the restraints would allow him, and just caught a glance of greyish silver, "I am the Superior, and this is Organisation 13. We have been keeping an eye on you for some time now, ever since that incident at the zoo all those years ago. Remember?" Roxas winced, as a matter of fact, he didn't, but he had been told what had happened enough times he could almost see it happening. Apparently his mother had decided it would be a good idea to take him and Ven to the zoo. They had been two, and had been running around excitedly looking at everything. Somehow, a tiger had gotten loose, and in the panic and chaos Roxas had been separated from his mother and twin. He hadn't realised what had been going on and ended up in a separate end of the zoo, with the tiger nearby. No one was entirely sure what happened, but a lot of people said that they saw a massive flash of light erupt from that section. Whatever happened, when boy and tiger were found again, the tiger was mewling, terrified and blinded, and Roxas was sitting next to it, playing with the two keys that hung on a chain around his neck - Oathkeeper and Oblivion- that he had gotten for his first birthday. He looked up at them and smiled, before saying, "the stripey-cat doesn't like light." And went back to playing with his keys.

Roxas frowned, he didn't understand what that had to do with anything. He knew now that he could control light, if he concentrated hard enough, but… why would these people care?

As though sensing his unspoken question, the man continued, "such an interesting display of magic. To protect one at such a young age shows… a considerable amount of power. That's why you're here."

Roxas shook his head, "I still don't understand," it was impressive how angry he managed to sound for one so small and quiet.

He heard a tutting sound before he got his answer, "well, the Organisation is made up of a group of scientists, we and now you, are part of the experiment, Kingdom Hearts. Scientists experiment on people with magical abilities to see what qualities that person has that allows them to do magic. As well as that, we try to _add_ onto our… _volunteers_, improve them and their abilities, make them more durable and resistant to certain things and so on. Of course, that isn't our total goal _overall_, but you don't need to know about that."

The Superior's bland, matter-of-fact way of speaking was what finally did it for Roxas. Unable to control the terror in him anymore, now with an idea of what would happen to him, Roxas opened his mouth and screamed.

The experiments began.

Roxas drifted through the years of pain and darkness, he constantly sported wounds, and was always in pain for some reason or another. The only positive, was that conditions were relatively humane when he wasn't being 'enhanced' as the Superior- who he found out to be called Xemnas- liked to say.

Roxas slept in a dormitory, there was a room with a TV, even a PlayStation and a few games. There was a library with a few books in it, and there would sometimes even be new ones in there. All in all, Roxas wouldn't have minded staying there if there weren't any experiments that needed to be performed.

He missed his twin Ven, and his mother, there was dull ache in his chest everytime he thought of them. But gradually, as the years progressed, that ache lessened, and by the age of ten, Roxas had forgotten all but his mother's smile, and the sound of his brother's laughter.

* * *

**Heh, those little italic sentences at the beginning are hopeless... whatever. Well, if you're curious, some of the couples in this are going to be RokuShi, suggest RokuNami, suggested Namiku, SoKai, umm... I'm probably missing a few, Axel is going to meet a made-up character that he fall in love with and... yeah.**

**Please review, if you do Roxas and I will love for forever! Won't we Roxas?**

**Roxas: ... Please just leave me alone, review, maybe she'll shut up then**


	3. Misplaced Trust

**I have a Science test tomorrow, so I've got to study for that. I figured I should quickly post this though since I'm fairly happy with how it turned out.**

**Ultimate Black Ace**** - Thank you for being my first review, yay! You are a wonderful person and I love you! :)**

**Roxas will do the disclaimer**

**Roxas: I will? Really?**

**Yup, get to it!**

**Roxas: Jessica is a poor, lonely miserable person who does not own, and never will own Kingom Hearts, she will neve-**

**Okay that's enough! Shut up now!**

**Roxas: Don- mmphf!**

* * *

**Chapter Three: Misplaced Trust**

_'They stand together, determined and strong, but as time passes… one by one… they all fall.'_

Roxas was not the only one who had been taken, there were many others, all with different powers. He didn't have much to do with any of them on principle, he just didn't see the point in making friends in a place where they could vanish the very next day.

When he had first arrived, the scientists that were part of the Organisation and Project Kingdom Hearts had been the Superior - Xemnas, Number II – Xigbar, Number III – Xaldin, Number IV – Vexen and Number V – Lexaeus. Now, there were quite a few members more. They all started out the same way however, except for the Superior himself. Every other scientist under Xemnas' orders had once been experiments themselves.

Xemnas gradually chose those that were elite in the areas of magic, mind and physical ability. They were given the codename 'nobodies' and they were candidates. For these chosen few, if they wished it, they could join Xemnas' research group. The initial plan had been to have thirteen members.

Soon after Roxas arrived he was dubbed Number XIII, the last candidate for Organisation XIII.

He met the other candidates and watched, as time moved on, each and every one of them succumb to the invite. It was a way to escape from the pain, the members of the Organisation weren't experimented on.

Zexion, now known as Number VI was the first that Roxas had known to join the Organisation. His body did not cope well with the pain, and he was at the point where he would either lose his sanity or have to make it stop. Not long after Number VI, was Number VII, Saix. Saix didn't care about harming others, the main reason he had refused to join the Organisation straight away was pride. He was unwilling to let someone threaten him into doing anything they thought he mightn't wish to do. But after a while, he joined regardless.

Number VIII, Axel, he had been Roxas'…_almost_-friend. Maybe they would have ended up proper friends, but Axel had been part of Project Kingdom Hearts for longer than Roxas. He had held out as long as he could, but, after a while, he joined. Roxas understood. But he had been disappointed, and he wasn't quite as open with Number VIII as he had once been. The red-head noticed, but didn't mention, aware that he had lost a friend, and painfully ashamed of the things he was now doing to others to prevent them being done to himself. He believed he deserved every and any amount of scorn that Roxas could throw at him. So he was silent, as the two of them drifted apart gradually.

Well after that, there were four more; Demyx (Number IX), Luxord (Number X), Marluxia (Number XI) and Larxene (Number XII). Every time one of them surrendered to the promise of no more pain, Roxas felt something twist inside him, he felt disappointment and betrayal rise inside of him. Bitter and foul. He was angry, but he understood why they did what they did. And that made him even more angry.

The others had all bowed down, Organisation XIII was waiting for its final member's acceptance. It never came. Roxas refused to be like the others. He didn't want to hurt anyone.

Finally, the Organisation decided to find a new candidate, Number XIV, the member that wasn't meant to exist. Xion.

Roxas first met her in his third year at Project Kingdom Hearts, she was bought in trembling and sobbing quietly, and left in the corner of the room. He walked over to her and realised she looked to be about his age. After some time he discovered that she too had the ability to control light, she was smart like him, and talented physically. She was like him in a lot of ways, which was why the Organisation chose her. What they didn't see, that Roxas did, was that she was her own person. She was like him, but she was different to him in so many ways as well. They didn't see her like that though. To them, she was a replacement, a replica, a mirror-image, a puppet.

Unfortunately for Organisation XIII, one similarity that both Roxas and Xion shared was their stubbornness and their strong sense of right and wrong. She was just as resolute in her decision not to join them as Roxas was. After that, there was no one else. No other was qualified. They required the element of light to complete their group, but those they found that were capable in that department, were lacking in the others. So after some time, they chose to wait the two out. Roxas and Xion, sooner or later, one of them would crack.

Roxas and Xion weren't friends, they were acquaintances. It was not that Xion did not wish to be friends with Roxas, that she didn't trust him. It was the other way around.

Roxas liked Xion; she was smart, pretty, funny, someone he could relate to, she seemed like someone he could trust. But he had been able to relate to Axel as well, and he had thought he could trust him too. Roxas couldn't bring himself to place his trust in someone else again. Every day he expected Number XIV to break, and agree to join. And every day when she didn't, he convinced himself she would the day after.

So they didn't become friends. For Roxas, having friends, relying on them, trusting them, was too big a risk. A risk that he didn't believe was worth taking.

* * *

**I think Sora will be coming in for the next chapter.**

**Roxas: mmphf!**

**You can talk if you're polite.**

**Roxas: So... why does anyone care when Sora is going to come in? I'm failing to see- mmphf!**

**You are not going to talk again.**

**Please give me a review, it seems they turned me onto hyper mode. The last one I got made me really happy, I ended up writing another three chapters (can't upload them until they're edited though). So if you want more chapters quicker, then... tell me what you think!**


	4. A Familiar Laugh

**I'm sorry I hadn't uploaded for ages recently. There was the whole hustle-bustle (did I really just say that) of it being the last week of the term, then one of my best-friends had a sleepover party. Then I had ****_my_**** birthday party. Then I was having major confidence issues, and I kept on re-typing my next chapter before deciding that my laptop was ruining my work. Really, I'm only uploading this because I was feeling bad about not uploading for a while. I might actually end up changing it!**

**Roxas: So basically, she hasn't uploaded for a while due to a combination of laziness, procrastination, and lack of self-confidence.**

**...Thankyou for summing that up Roxas. T.T**

**Roxas: Jessica does not own Kingdom Hearts, or Square Enix, however, she did get a Roxas necklace, and a Sora necklace at her party from one of her absolutely amazing best friends XD**

**...I'll just let you read the story (and yes, Bec is an amazing person for getting me those necklaces! I m putting it up here on the internet for all to see!)**

* * *

**Chapter Four: A Familiar Laugh**

_'A beautiful sound in a place so dark; familiar and comforting, he's here… it's not a good thing.'_

Roxas is fourteen - Xion the same - they're sitting together reading Maximum Ride. Roxas had found the first book in the library one day and had started reading. It had quickly become his favourite; he could not help but feel a sense of familiarity in the situation of the flock, and his own, except for the matter that for _them_, it was after the experiments had been finished. After they had escaped; an important part of the story for Roxas, though he would never admit to anyone why.

Xion had caught him reading it and decided that it looked like a good book. Now they spent many an afternoon sitting together reading the books, and discussing them afterwards. It didn't matter that this was the fourth time Roxas had read them, nor the third that Xion had read them. It was odd, but, despite his best efforts, Roxas found himself enjoying the time he was spending with Xion he noticed recently that whenever she was near, he felt an odd sort of fluttering in his chest. He missed her when she was gone, he felt relieved when she was back. He was terrified of humiliating himself in front of her, but if it meant she would grant him one of her rare smiles, he would do it over and over again. He didn't know what all this meant, so he ignored it. He ignored the tightening in his chest when she wasn't around; he ignored the burning, bitter feeling that arose inside of him whenever someone else made her smile. Not that many had been able to. It was a source of immense pride and satisfaction for him that he was usually the only one who could make her smile, and _the_ only one who had ever been able to make her laugh. He liked her laugh. It was as good as Ven's was, in its own special way. Her smile was as beautiful and bright as his mother's. He couldn't help but feel happy when she was happy.

He realises he's staring, so Roxas turns back to his book, occasionally sneaking subtle glances as the dark-haired girl. He wants to know if his happiness makes _her_ happy, it seemed important for some reason, he really wanted to know. Roxas was debating whether or not he actually _should_ ask when Axel came in and sat down with them. Both of them were silent as the red-head seated himself in an armchair and opened his book, leaning back to read.

None of them were friends, Roxas refused to trust people, he couldn't. However, though he himself was unaware of the fact, Roxas had an odd allure around him. People naturally wanted to follow the blonde, befriend him. More often than not, his cold, somewhat uncaring nature discouraged these people. However, in some cases- like that of Axel, or Xion- those people would not be put off so easily. In the end, Roxas found that it was simpler to stop turning them away, and accept that their presence would be a common thing in his future. There was only one other person who bothered to keep following Roxas, even when he ran. One other person who Roxas accepted as company; however, that's all he would see them as. He wouldn't let himself care for them, he wouldn't refer to them as friends, even to himself.

Despite their common goal, Xion and Axel did not befriend each other. They kept up a cool, aloof relationship with each other, not unlike the one Roxas tried to keep with them. Xion wasn't particularly interested in being friends with a member of the Organisation. Quite a few people often joked that those part of Organisation XIII were heartless, that that was the only way they could do the things they did. Most people part of Project Kingdom Hearts had a somewhat grim sense of humour, either that, or, like Roxas, none at all. Sometimes he wasn't sure which was better.

As for Axel, the red-head didn't like many people; upon Roxas', the two of them had seemingly 'clicked' they got on exceptionally well. Roxas found out that he had been the only person Axel liked at the institute at that time. When Axel had joined the Organisation, Roxas had withdrawn from him, he had withdrawn from everyone. But Axel didn't stop trying to be his friend. Roxas was still the only person he enjoyed spending time with.

When Xion had arrived, Roxas had found himself compelled for some strange reason to help her. So he did. To this day he is unsure as to whether it had been the smart thing to do or not. He knew that if he had simply left her, he would have been struck by a crippling sense of guilt, but now, like an abandoned puppy that one might pick up off the street, she continued to follow him around, and stick to him. Despite the fact that the others were perfectly kind to her, and Roxas wasn't particularly welcoming after that initial show of kindness. He had heard her speaking to someone one day; they had asked why she still followed him around when he was so cold. Her reply had caused an unfamiliar blush to arise in Roxas' cheeks, "I don't know why I do… I feel like I'm drawn to him. I know on the top he may seem unkind, uncaring, but I know that he's really an amazing person and I can't help but like him and want to spend more time with him."

Namine came in and sat down, and Roxas was pulled out of his thoughts, he shook his head, berating himself for getting distracted. Momentarily, Roxas glanced up at the slender blonde as she seated herself in an armchair similar to Axel's and took out her sketch pad, beginning to draw.

Namine was a bit of an anomaly. She wasn't officially part of the Organisation, but he knew she was sometimes made to help them. Specifically if there were any people beginning to ask about the place. Roxas didn't know what she did or how she did it, but he knew that she used her power, and he knew that it worked. After all, they were all still there weren't they?

He didn't know where Namine stood, sometimes he felt like he could trust her, then sometimes he felt like he should run from her. She was a mystery, just like his other two companions. But they were mysteries that possessed no Sherlock Holmes to be solved by, and Roxas wasn't going to fill that role himself.

He acknowledged that to find out answers, he would have to accept them all as friends, so he had accepted that he wouldn't be finding out any time soon.

Roxas sighed; frustrated with himself for continuously allowing such small, unimportant things occupy his valuable reading time. Shifting uncomfortably to try and take some weight off his sore back, he winced when his right arm started to throb once more from all the needles that had been injected into it recently. Ignoring that, focusing once more on the story, he immersed himself in the plot and the characters, refusing to let himself be distracted anymore.

Someone in a room nearby laughed loudly.

His head snapped back up. So much for not being distracted again, but… that laugh, it was familiar, so familiar. Cheerful and bright, despite where its source was; the one person he had never expected to be here. The one person he hadn't ever _wanted_ to be here, even when he missed him so much it hurt. It had to be… his other half, his twin. Ven.

* * *

**So what did you think? Ven's joined the project! Ooh... what now? I just ****_love_**** to torture my blondes don't I *giggles evilly***

**Roxas: So I get to see my brother again! He isn't going to get hurt or anything is h... didn't you say Sora was going to be in this chapter?**

**Maybe he is and no one's realised it yet.**

**Roxas: ...I'm pretty sure it would be fairly obvious.**

**Or would it? O.O Or shall be revealed in the next chapter!**

**Just for the record, this has in fact been pointed out to me by Ultimate Black Ace (thanks for your review for this chapter, you made some good points so I figured I'd resubmit this chapter), I mention that Xion's laugh reminds Roxas of his brother's, and her smile is like his mother's. It was pointed out that it was said in Chapter Two that he had forgotten them, but... if you check, you'll see that he still remembers one or two things about them. He can't remember what they look like (he remembers that he and Ven were identical though so he has an idea as to what Ven would like still), he can't remember things like, their favourite food. But he remembers a few of things about them that made him happiest. Ven's laugh made him want to laugh along with him, to him, it was such a happy, carefree laugh that it put him into a happy, hyper mode like that of his brother. Likewise, he thought his mother's smile beautiful, and it would always cheer him up and make him feel warm inside. He couldn't forget things like that and... I'm starting to write like how I do in my actual story so I'm going to stop.**

**Another point was how Roxas seems to have somehow become friends with Xion and stuff when in the last chapter he didn't want friends. This is one of the main changes I made to this, but I think I should also explain it here to make it a bit clearrer, basically, he doesn't want to be friends, but they sort of... like... they'll keep being friendly with him, and spending time with him. So he's come to accept them as acquaintances, however, he doesn't view them as friends, he doesn't trust them as a friend would, he is, technically, still waiting for Xion to 'crack' under the pressure. Even though he has started to have weird emotions around her, he can't really help it, you can't hep how you feel. But he doesn't understand what it mean and he tries to ignore it, because some part of him subconsciously recognises it as some form of caring, and he doesn't _want_ to care. Okay... long explanation over! :3  
**

**Please review! Lately my self-confidence has been feeding on the reviews I've been getting. I didn't get too many so I got depressed! If you want the chapters uploaded quicker, send in your opinion. Even if it's negative, I'm cool with that. Because at least you bothered enough to let me know, and can use your advice to improve my work! Thanks XD**


	5. New Boy

**So... I've got the next few chapters typed up, and I'm pretty happy with them. I'll be uploading them whenever. But people! I am getting like... no reviews! That is making me seriously depressed!**

**Roxas: Maybe they all just hate your fanfic?**

**T.T Thankyou for that oh so helpful suggestion Roxas.**

**Roxas: No problem :3**

***sigh* I don't own Kingdom Hearts, nor do I own any of the characters in this chapter (I'll be sure to mention if I decide to have an OC, just so you know)**

**Enjoy! Or... you know... ****_don't_****, because I literally idea if anyone's reading this or what so...**

* * *

**Chapter Five: The New Boy**

_'Disappointment is bitter and vile… but it's better than the alternative.'_

Roxas had left the reading room quickly, ignoring the confused questions of his companions. He had always had amazing hearing, so, even though the laughter didn't sound again, he had no trouble working out where it had come from. Riku's room.

_'I wonder why Ven's there, of all places_' he thought to himself, as he moved through the corridors and came to stop outside his destination. As he reached for the doorknob, he hesitated momentarily, as childish as he told himself it was to be scared. He couldn't help it. The questions kept on running through his head at shockingly dizzy speed. _'What if he doesn't remember me? What if he doesn't want to see me? What if he hates me now? What if he doesn't even care about me anymore?'_ The rational part of his mind tried to reason with him, saying that those happenings were highly unlikely. For once, it didn't help.

Taking a deep breath, steadying himself as best as he could, Roxas opened the door and went into the room, before he could convince himself to do otherwise.

Three pairs of eyes looked up at him. Roxas froze.

Ven wasn't there.

He gazed in silent disbelief at the three teenagers sitting on Riku's bed. There, on the left was the silver-haired owner of the room, Riku. On the right, was someone who normally had nothing to do with Riku, the blue-eyed, red-head; Kairi.

In the middle was a boy Roxas didn't recognise. It occurred to him that he was probably one of the latest additions to Project Kingdom Hearts. On a normal day, Roxas would have just ignored the boy, leaving him to someone else to be comforted by. However, today wasn't normal anymore.

So he turned to the boy, unsure, but wanting to know for himself who had been the one to laugh in the way he thought only his brother could. After a quick inspection, Roxas was surprised to realise that the boy could have almost _been_ Ventus. He was remarkably similar to Roxas and his twin; in fact, if Ven had dyed his hair brown and styled it so that it stuck up in spikes all over the place instead of to one side in the natural hair-style that Roxas shares with his twin, well… the boy sitting in front of him would have been the result.

But it wasn't Ven.

And he knew it.

His curiosity was aroused however, and he wanted to confirm that it was this boy who had in fact, been the one to laugh. Then he would leave the three of them alone to do whatever they had been doing before he had arrived. Simple.

Before he could open his mouth though, he was interrupted by the brunette, who said in an incredulous, wondering voice, "You look just like me… except for the hair." Kairi and Riku flinched, and inched closer to the boy between them in a protective manner. Everyone was aware of the way Roxas reacted to idiotic statements, how he reacted when someone stated the obvious and, in his opinion, unnecessary.

Had it been anyone else, Roxas might have gotten angry. He probably would have launched into a furious, hour-long lecture as to how pointless comments like that were completely unnecessary and no one cares for the input of person who is only going to say things that everyone can already work out for themselves. But for some reason, Roxas was reminded so painfully of Ven, that he didn't even think to reprimand the boy.

After a moments silence Roxas turned back to the brunette- barely noticing as the teenagers on either side of him visibly tensed- having long decided that being blunt is the quickest way to find one's answer, Roxas asked, "were you the one who laughed a few moments ago?"

Confusion flittered across his face, followed quickly by an unreadable emotion that was gone before Roxas had time to interpret it, "you sound just like him." He whispered. Roxas frowned, _'who did I sound just like?'_ After a few moments the boy looked back up to him, and smiled, before nodding, "yeah, I was the one who laughed just then… my name's Sora, in case you were wondering. What about you?"

Roxas tilted his head to one side, why did this boy believe he would tell him his name? Surely if he really wanted to know, he could ask Kairi or Riku? Sora seemed to misinterpret Roxas' reaction because he added quickly, "what's your name?" Roxas shrugged half-heartedly, "I don't make it a habit to tell strangers my name." He turned to leave, not bothering to apologise for interrupting. He had confirmed that Ven hadn't been bought to the institute, so there was no longer any need for him to stay in Riku's room, where he was clearly unwelcome.

"W-wait! Where are you going?" It was Sora, calling out in a tone that promised no peace unless it received an answer. Roxas stepped out of the door and shut it behind him quickly, running off, not back to the reading room, but to his special place. He didn't want to be found. Roxas could hear Sora calling after him and he sighed, he was already regretting being kind to him.

After all, this boy wasn't Ven.

* * *

**And lo-and-behold, Sora ****_did_**** come in last chapter :3**

**I've always thought Ven and Sora had pretty similar personalities (except Ven was a bit... more mature I guess you could say)**

**Roxas: So my beloved twin is still safe XD ...And I'm still stuck in the institute T.T**

**Hehe... yeah, sorry.**

**Um... okay, I really hope people haven't given up on me for this or something because of how the last update took a while. But, I want to make sure at least ****_someone_**** is reading my fanfic (I know, I'm a selfish, terrible person like that T.T), so I'm not going to review until I get a few reviews. Please don't disappoint me! It's my birthday on Sunday (I'm turning fifteen XD), so if I get a few reviews before then I'll be super majorly happy and upload some more chapters!**

**Anyway, yeah... read, review, enjoy! ...And stuff**


	6. Memories

**Okay... first off;**

**Ultimate Black Ace****, thank you for your reviews, they always make me so happy :3**

**I'm glad that you are honest with me, you have helped me improve some of my work quite a bit I think so... yeah, thanks. And thanks for keeping on with this story.**

**AkuBeku****, Bec, you are an awesome friend! I am like seriously, ****_so_**** lucky to have you and Malllory and Zem and stuff as my friends, it's like- yay! XD**

***Sigh* I feel short- I'm not! I mean... I'm... normal height...ish. Anyway, my dad had this bike in the living room, and it was propped up and set up and stuff so you could ride on it inside without it moving around and stuff, like... so it's easier to exercise (exercies, whoo! ...Yeah... whatever), and I was like, "hmm... maybe that could be fun and stuff." So I try to get on it and... it's... too high... up for me. I had to climb onto a chair first before I could actually sit on it... yeah...**

**By the way! Warning for all of you! This chapters a bit depressing, it goes into suicide and such. This is a memory, something that happened to Roxas when he was younger, and it's relevant to the next chapter. And another thing! I'm very sory for all the time leaps and... yah! I understand they might be confusing but... he's there for a long time, I can't... I can't go through every single thing that happens to him. So I just sort of... more or less start it with where Sora comes in and I go back to explain when necessary. I'm sorry if this confuses some people or something.**

**Roxas: Why is there suicide in it?**

**Think about the situation, it only makes sense.**

**Roxas: ...oh.**

**I've made him go quiet... I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you! TT_TT**

**"Poor unfortunate soul! In pain! In need!" Sorry, having a moment here, I've got Disney songs stuck in my head. Ursula is like... the best fat woman ever, even though she's evil, I reckon she's cool, she has some awesome songs. Only a few people will understand the reference to this song and a certain... dance I came up with. I came up with ti on teh spot! It wasn't meant to be good T.T**

* * *

**Chapter Six: Memories**

_'Hatred and anger can sometimes overwhelm the light… but it only takes something small to fix that'_

The institute in which Roxas- along with all the other members of Project Kingdom Hearts- was kept, was actually quite similar to a large, old-fashioned castle. It was quite common knowledge that, since the form of experiments being conducted in the institute weren't completely legal, the castle technically didn't exist. Some people- namely those that joked about the Organisation members being heartless- joked that a good name for the institute was 'The Castle That Never Was', and many of those being kept there often referred to it as such. After all, it was a fitting name for such a place.

Roxas had escaped to one of the taller towers. He secretly thought of it as 'The Clock Tower', whenever he was up there, he could hear the sounds of the real clock tower coming from town, as it announced the time of day every hour of the day. Roxas' special place was the _only_ place one could hear sounds coming from town. This, of course, was one of the reasons it was so important to Roxas.

Another reason that Roxas came up here whenever he felt the need to be alone and think, was that everyone else stayed away. It was well-known that the tower was dangerous. A boy had fallen off it once, he had hit the ground and been killed instantly. Ever since then, everyone avoided the tower as though it was cursed. People only went up there if they couldn't handle the experiments anymore. If they wanted to end it all.

That had, in fact, been the reason Roxas had first come up to the tower. He had every intention of jumping. This was shortly after Axel had joined the Organisation and- in Roxas' opinion- betrayed him.

He had arrived just before sunset- not long before six O'clock- and had stood on the edge of the tower, nervously gazing down at the faraway ground below. He wasn't scared of death. The way he saw it, anything was better than what he was going through at the moment.

He was almost eight at the time. A horribly young age for one to be harbouring such thoughts, a time when everything should have been happy and bright, now dark and filled with anguish instead.

Despite it all, Roxas hesitated for a moment, not out of fear, rather, uncertainty as to whether or not this was the right choice to make. He couldn't ignore the feeling that what he was planning on doing, was wrong and pointless, that there was a better solution than the one he had concocted. In spite of that, he was unable to think of it. The feelings of desperation, isolation, anger and betrayal filling him, blocked off any light that might have otherwise made its way into his currently dark and hopeless world.

In the end, Roxas didn't jump. Though he had every intention to do so, something stopped him.

He hesitated long enough for something to happen that changed his mind.

As he stood up there, on the edge of the tower, the sun set right before him. Roxas was silent, his face bathed in vibrant shades of red, orange, yellow and more. Why, Roxas still does not understand. But this sight calmed him, it washed away some of the anger and pain he felt, some of the helplessness he had been experiencing at his situation. Roxas didn't jump.

Instead, he sat down on the edge, and waited as the sky gradually became darker. Far off, he heard the sound of the clock tower in the nearby town, announcing the time. Six O'clock. It was a reminder that they weren't so cut off from the world. That there was a place nearby, filled with people who carried on with their life. Filled with people who lived normally and happily.

And this made him think of his brother, and of his mother. He imagined them, carrying on without him. Missing him, but managing despite it. He saw _her_ smile and let it pass its happiness onto him. He heard _his_ laugh, and let it wash over him, calming him.

And Roxas no longer wanted it to end. Rather, he came to a decision. There on the clock tower, he would escape. He would see his mother smile, he would hear his brother laugh. One more time. For real.

So whenever he needed to think, to escape it all. Roxas found himself at 'The Clock Tower', there, he would sit in silence, and watch as the sun set, and listen to the sounds of the nearby town. And he would remember his decision, his promise to himself. And he would survive.

* * *

**Okay... so yeah. I made myself depressed when I wrote this, but it's kind of like, everything that happened, of course he's at least gonna consider it! I realised I made Roxas a bit of a depressing character in this, it's just... it was necessary. It had happy ending. I mean... yeah... it had a happy ending so...**

**Roxas: I was going to... kill... myself? Why don't you just admit to everyone that you hate me and that you're planning on killing me off at the end?**

**Shhh... Don't be silly, can't do that... spoilers.**

**Roxas: ...What?**

**Relax! I'm joking ^_^**

**...Maybe :)**

**...Why did I do an evilly smiling face? If I end up killing Roxas I'm not going to be happy! DX**

**Don't worry! I don't think I wanna kill him!**

**Roxas: I should hope not!**

**We'll just have to wait and see how the story goes!**

**Roxas: ...**

**^_^ Review! You'll find out the truth behind all my random ramblings sooner if you do!**


	7. Coincidence

**This is ridiculous. Okay, so, know how I was talking about the whole... bike incident at the beginning of the last chapter. Well... basically, yesterday my dad was like to me, "you should have a go on the exercise bike!" And I'm like "haha, no. I don't really have a desire to feel short all over again. Last time I got on there I couldn't... reach." And so my dad goes and lowers the seat and is like, "there you go! As low as it goes! You'll be fine now!" And I'm like Yay XD...8|...T_T "Dad... it's still too... uh... it's still too high up for me." And he's like, "so it is, well, here's a chair for you! You can go on it now!" So I'm thinking to myself, 'don't worry about it, you're not short, this bike was just... made for a really tall person. It's fine, you're on it now, no need to think about height or anything anymore...' T_T "Dad?" "Yes X3" "My feet can't reach the pedals..." He checks and he's all like 'oooooohh' then he looks at me and was like, "it's funny, I never really thought of you as ****_that_**** short until now." So I've decided that the exercise bike in the living room is my new worst enemy; I am declaring it my archnemesis, and when night comes and all else are asleep... :D I'll ****_smash_**** it... actually, I won't, but I'll dream about smashing it. And this is seriously a true story. My toes could only just reach the pedal when it went to the bottom. I don't know what I was thinking. That bike's out to make me feel short :T**

**Or maybe my subconscious is out to make me feel short, I mean, really? What was I ****_thinking_****, getting back on that bike?**

**(This is basically what happens when fangirls spend time with other fangirls, rather, when almost all of your best friends are fangirls like yourself); So some of my friends, along with myself came up with some real life shippings for friends and stuff. My favourites are MalLogic (Mallory x Logic), Jessooks (Me and Books), BecTop (Bec x Her Laptop) and... (Bec is probably going to kill me for putting this up here but I couldn't help myself, it's revenge for all the times she's gone on about... me and... a certain boy she ships me with who I actually don't like in that way :T yeah... this is my revenge :D) PatriBec. I also ship my friend Zem (Emily) with a certain boy, but I won't put that up here.**

**Okay, for starters... MalLogic is ****_so_**** canon, it's like... Edwin, in fact, it's like Royai (fullmetal alchemist XD)**

**Jessooks is pretty much the same,yeah... so's BecTop.**

**Jessooks is the only shipping involving myself that will ever be canon! ****_Ever_****.**

**I have to set the record straight or else I will not live for much longer. Patribec is not canon. It will never be canon. If it were I would be very concerned... I would probably also laugh because Bec had insisted so many times that it would not happen. Patribec is... the ultimate crack pairing. It will ****_never_**** happen. And to be honest, I don't think anyone's gonna be too bummed about that fact.**

**The shipping concerning Zem is my ultimate real-life OTP, and IT IS SO CANON! Well... implied canon anyway. And it is so cute and Ohmygodtheyaresocutetogether theyaregoingtogetmarriedandi willbeatthereweddinggoing"calledit"andillprobablygetkickedoutbu tstill!**

**Anyway... random rant over, got that all off my chest and stuff... yeah. For the record, I have no intention of mentioning the bike again. I am going to pretend I do not even know of its existence (and if anyone mentions it to me, I will blow something up... probably the bike :D)**

**Okay...**

**Ultimate Black Ace**** - I don't know how many times I've thanked you for reviewing but, you are one of the most amazing people in the history of the world. I'm always happy when I read your reviews XD**

**TheSapphireRose**** - Thanks for your review! I'm happy that you liked it! I'd like to say that it's good to have a new follower join the cause (I've always wanted to say that, don't ask me why because I... don't actually know), but I'll probably end up scaring someone then because that makes it sound like this is some kind of... religion or something and I don't think a story can be a religion (:D**

**... It'd be pretty cool if that was possible though XD**

***Sigh* Work experience this week. I'm working at my dad' work (won't say what or where exactly, might get in trouble ;D), it's verging on the edge of interesting, but not quite. And for some reason which I have no idea as to why... but it's really tiring. There isn't a real reason for it or anything, quite literally, all I've been doing so far is sitting on a chair playing on the computor (actually, not playing, designing stuff and... stuff, which isn't as fun but still kinda interesting) and to be frank, I don't think walking up the stairs to get to the place I have work experience, as well as getting out for my seat and walking quite literally about ten steps to the kitchen to have lunch, really should be enough to tire me out so much. Oh well.**

**Oh! Before I forget, Bec asked me the other day if I was not-so-subtly hinting that Roxas was going to end up dead.**

**Roxas: What did you say?**

**I said that it was spoilers... also that I don't know.**

**Roxas: Aren't you actually almost finished typing up the story though?**

**...Yeah.**

**But it depends, I'm tossing up whether or not I want to have a sequel, and there are few different endings I have in mind... It also depends what you count as dead ;)**

**For the record, I'm not going to explain that comment.**

**Anyway, I changed one of the genre thingies because I realised that this is a bit romantic and stuff so... yeah. Like, the next lot of chapters are like 'THE SHIPPINESS IS EVERYWHERE! EVERYONE IS GETTING MARRIED! AND THERE IS LOVE IN ALL PLACES!' sort of thing so... yeah. Not so much this chapter but... like the next few after this, there'll be some major Namiku action, then a bit after that there'll be some RokuShi and SoKai (and Soroku XD ...I'm kidding, relax), but yeah, stuff like that.**

**Anyway... enough talking from me... typing... typing from me. Um... yeah, here's the story.**

**By the way; I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I may wish for it, I may be secretly praying to God that I was partnered up with Tetsuya Nomura in order to make all my shippings canon but... it's not actually going to happen.**

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Coincidence**

_'He's a reminder of someone you forgot… he's a reminder of happiness you forgot'_

When Roxas ran from Riku's room, it was to the clock tower that he went. He sat down on the edge, and wrapped his arms around his legs, gazing out at the horizon, and fighting off the tears that wanted to come. Ignoring the disappointment at not being able to see his brother, and focusing instead on the relief that Ven wasn't now in the same situation as himself.

As always, the quiet calmed Roxas, and soon, he no longer had to ignore the disappointment, nor the guilt he had felt for _being_ disappointed in the first place. Those feelings faded away, and left him feeling at peace.

It was too early for the sun to set. The time was only around four O'clock. But Roxas couldn't bring himself to leave.

He was debating whether or not he should merely stay up there reading till the sunset, when he heard a noise behind him. He turned, aware that someone had come up, and curious as to whom it was. After all, people really only came to the clock tower when they couldn't handle it anymore.

He got to his feet, and was startled to see Sora appear. He raised an eyebrow at the boy, _'it's a bit early for him to be giving up hope isn't it?'_ he thought to himself wryly. However he was aware that that wasn't the real reason the brunette was standing in front of him now.

"There you are!" Sora grinned at Roxas, who rolled his eyes in return. He might have found it irritating to have his place invaded, but the calm, tranquil effect of the clock tower was still in him, so instead, he turned and sat on the edge again, reflecting on the similarities between Sora and Ven.

From what he had seen, they had remarkably similar personalities, as well as identical laughs. He had already noticed the striking similarities in physical looks. He could almost believe that Sora was Ven. Almost. But they weren't the same.

There was movement to his right, and Roxas turned in time to see Sora sit down next to him. They sat in silence for some moments, before Sora spoke, "it's… a lovely view up here, don't you think?" Roxas looked back out to the horizon before nodding, "yes, it is."

Sora looked down, swinging his feet with a small smile on his face, "you know, I don't… know you very well but… you remind me a lot of someone I knew. Before I was brought here, that is." Roxas glanced at Sora, surprised, "well, that's a bit of surprise. _You_ remind _me_ of someone I knew from _my_ old life."

They were silent for a few more minutes, both processing the new information they had acquired, before Sora spoke once more, "I have a brother, older than me by a few years. His name was Vanitus and you look a lot like him, except the hair and eyes. Though I guess you would since you look so much like _me_. We're more or less identical despite the age difference, me and Vanitus, except he has darker hair, and golden eyes which I've always thought were pretty cool. But the two of you don't just _look_ similar, the way you speak… your voice is almost identical to his and, from what I've seen of your attitude, you're a lot like him in _that_ department as well." He glanced up at Roxas, smiling nervously, "I know it's a bit unfair on you but… I kind of, _really_ wanna be your friend because of that. You… remind me of home."

Roxas was surprised by the boy's honesty, but he was more shocked at the coincidence that he had just discovered, "that's quite… interesting." He murmured, "I… had a brother as well, a twin in fact. He was called _Ventus_, but I actually called him Ven for short. He looked _exactly_ like me; people were always mixing us up. I haven't seen him since I was five, and I forgot a few things about him. But… as you said yourself, we look very similar for… _some_ reason. So… you look a lot like him. The thing that first reminded me of him though, was your laugh. That was one of the only things about him I could remember. When I saw you, I started remembering other things about him, you have similar personalities, similar voices." Roxas paused, hesitating for a moment, then he broke the biggest rule he had set for himself in the institute, "I wouldn't mind being friends. You remind me of Ven so much and… I don't want to forget."

Sora's smile was wide and blinding, and Roxas didn't worry about the fact that he had made a friend. He didn't let himself. He knew that having friends there was dangerous, Axel had been proof of that but… he didn't want to forget anything about Ven again. He couldn't bear it. And if this boy, Sora, was willing to act as a reminder, then, _he_ was willing to take the risk of having a friend.

They would each serve as reminders to the other of happier times.

They would each be the others light.

* * *

**Hooray for coincidences!**

**Roxas: You realise that would never actually happen in real life don't you?**

**Yeah... but, it's a story, I'm the author, and I have proper reasons and stuff! Lots of them!**

**Roxas: What are they then?**

**Uh, well... I said I had reasons, not necessarily good ones**

**Roxas: ...**

**Okay, this is probably the one that's least likely to get me in trouble... it stresses the connection between Sora and Roxas. I initially pictured that I would have them as twins if I were to write a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, then Ventus and Vanitas came along and it was like, 'lol nope'. So yeah. If wasn't planning on having Ven and Van in it, I might have ended up having them as twin (simply because I have a major soft spot for twins). Techincally, the story would have worked that way as well, and the connection between the two of them would have been easier to explain but... well, if I do end up writing a sequel for this, Roxas and Sora actually ****_can't_**** be twins because of reasons.**

**Review please! I love them and they are always welcome and wonderful and are very good for my work-ethic (my sanity is another question, the last good review I got basically sent me screaming around the house going 'they like my story! And I ended up scaring my family :P).**

**Yeah, I'll be majorly thankful/happy/excited/crazy (I'm almost always crazy though so I don't know if this one counts) if you review!**


	8. Love At First Sight

**Okay... Uploading this in school because I apparently don't value learning... right. In any case, Bec forgave me for a certain shipping I put in last chapter so I'm still alive! Yay!**

**I hurt my foot... sprained... twisted... rolled... whatever, I hurt my foot on the weekend. It's all swollen and it is so purple! I was sitting there for about five minutes just staring at on foot, then the other and going, "hehe, I have a fat foot T.T" Absolutely love my friends! They were all helping me when I was walking, though I didn't really need help, my foot hurt but I felt bad needing them to help me... whatever. They kept on insisting, and I'm just like "oh you wonderful, amazing people, you are literally too nice, stop being so nice to me! I don't deserve it! Be more concerned about yourself!" I swear, one of them is oging to end up giving their house up to some homeless person they see on the street. But really, I don't deserve my friends, I am a terrible friend, honest. I am ****_not_**** a nice person.**

**It's annoying now though, I almost don't like going on my computor because of my foot. I sit cross-legged on my chair (so none of the ghosties or spiders or other random unbelievable stuff can get me... spiders are real, I am aware of that fact) and when I do that, it hurts my foot so now I'm like T_T ...really? ****_Really? _**** Why?**

**Anywhos, wow... it's amazing how easily I stray off topic. Um... this chapter has some romance in it... for some reason I feel like slenderman is going to jump out from behind me and kill me before I update this... yeah... moving on then because that has nothing to do with this. I'm worried it might seem a bit fast-paced, like... some of you might be a bit like "they don't dwell on the emotions enough!" Also some of you might be more like "why the sappiness?"**

**Basically, I changed the genre yes, but romance still isn't the main thing... not to mention this is going to be long-ish (I'm up to Chapter 15 now) so I don't need to make it any longer. Also, if you're one of those people thinking 'ew, why do I care about their feeling' though I... actually can't think of anyone like that at the moment- look at it this way. It isn't only focused on romance, certain things happen that... actually... never mind, I really don't want to give too much away.**

**But yeah, I figured that one of those two would be pretty much everyone's reaction to the next bunch of chapters because I really don't see how anyone could actually be happy with it.**

**Roxas: You talk so much at the beginnings now**

**Well... shut up!**

**Roxas: I think you need to do that more than me**

**:O...:T**

**Hmmph...**

**Roxas: X3**

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Love At First Sight**

_'She fell in love with the enemy, he fell right back in love with her… are you okay with that?'_

A few weeks had passed since that time. Roxas found himself spending a lot of his time in the company of Sora, sometimes with Riku and Kairi as well. Though Roxas did his best to avoid them. He had nothing against Kairi, she was a sweet, pretty girl, often smiling and joking around, keeping a quietly optimistic view on life despite the situation. No, Roxas liked Kairi perfectly well.

The problem was Riku.

To say they didn't get along was an understatement. They had never liked each other, ever since the time when Riku had first arrived, arrogant and looking for a fight. He had found one with Roxas, but was defeated completely by the younger boy. It was still a source of embarrassment for the silver-haired boy. Now, to add insult to injury, Roxas had burst into his room without so much of a warning. He had treated his new best friend unkindly, but had somehow managed to befriend the brunette regardless. The worst thing was, even though Riku and Kairi had found Sora first, Sora and Roxas seemed to share a bond with each other that no one else had. Ever since Sora had run after Roxas in their first encounter, they had been almost like brothers. What's more, Kairi didn't even seem to mind. She said that as long as Sora was happy, that didn't matter. It infuriated the teen to no end, and what was even worse was the fact that it managed to so successfully infuriate him when he prided himself on being calm and reasonable about everything.

For his part, Roxas was not overly fond of the silver-haired teenager either.

He had always thought him arrogant, and even though he now often kept a cool, collected mask on, Roxas knew that that arrogance was still there. The fact that the teenager still had not forgiven the incident regarding the fight that had happened upon his arrival, showed that. So with Riku acting barely civil to him, Roxas saw no reason to act any better.

Sora noticed, but nothing he said could convince the two to end their rivalry.

So- in a somewhat desperate attempt to rid the two of their negative feelings, unbelievably optimistic about the outcome of his plot- Sora asked Riku to meet him in the reading lounge in five minutes, aware that Roxas was currently reading there.

The teen walked in, froze upon seeing the blonde seated on one of the couches, then sat down silently to wait in another armchair as the blonde stubbornly ignored him.

The outcome, had the two been left alone, would, inevitably, have been some form of argument. However, at that moment, someone else walked into the room. Riku glanced over- expecting to see his brunette friend- and froze, eyes wide as he gazed at the unfamiliar girl. Roxas looked up from his book, "Namine," he greeted briefly, before returning to his book.

The girl returned the greeting softly, before sitting next to blonde on the couch and taking out her drawing utensils. Feeling Riku's eyes upon her, she looked up, a tinge of red appeared on her cheeks as she noticed the intense scrutiny she was being put under. After a few moments, she gave the boy a small, nervous smile, before focusing her attention on her sketch pad.

After some minutes of silence- in which Roxas read, Namine drew, and Riku tried to figure out just how close the two blondes were- the elder boy got to his feet and left the room in search of Sora.

Roxas watched him go from the corner of his eye, before turning to Namine, "he was staring at you pretty much the whole time you realise?" he said softly to the girl, eyes returning to his book. Namine blushed again, and Roxas sighed, aware of what her behaviour meant, "We haven't ever really spoken before, I haven't even really seen him around the place, I mean… not everyone gets a chance to meet everyone else. He was probably just curious as to who I was" She replied, aware that her words were untrue, but unwilling to voice her innermost thoughts, lest they be wrong.

Roxas rolled his eyes and sat up, "nonsense and you know it; he likes you, and you- though I don't know _why_ you would- seem to like him back. He's single, so why don't you just… talk to him or something? Don't make this into a complete drama when it doesn't need to be."

Namine nodded hesitantly, "I suppose… I can talk to him later today."

Meanwhile Riku saw his targeted brunette ahead, talking to Kairi animatedly about his theory that a certain red-headed Organisation member had a crush on someone. Riku ran up behind them, grabbed Sora by the arm, before dragging him off, calling a quick apology to Kairi over his shoulder, "I need to talk to you." He told the boy once they had left Kairi behind. Sora grinned, "I knew it! See! I _knew_ you and Roxas could get along well if you just took the time to get to know him! The two of you are actually quite alike and…" Sora trailed off at Riku's blank face. "Umm… Riku?"

Said teenager raised an eyebrow at the newly discovered motive for him to have gone to the reading lounge, before shaking his head and saying impatiently, "That's not what I'm talking about! I… was wondering if Namine and Roxas are going out? I mean, if they weren't, I kind of… want to… um…"

Sora's eyes bulged, his mouth opened into a little 'o' and he stared at Riku in shock, "you have a crush on _Roxas_?" he cried, disbelievingly. Riku frowned, "wait… what?"

* * *

**Probably defeats the point of doing this, but can I point something out. You'll notice as the chapters go on, and the characters start to fall in love, Roxas starts to accept friendship and blah... well basically, the chapters will become lighter and more cheerful with jokes and everything.**

**Roxas: Until good goes to worse right?**

**Yep... how'd you know? I haven't told anyone my plans yet :T**

**Roxas: So bad stuff is going to happen?! What?! Why?!**

**:O... oops... I'll just... umm... review please! XD**

**Roxas: don't change the subject! Who dies? Who's the traitor! What happens!**

**I'll try and update soon as possible, the more reviews the quicker the updates!**

**Roxas: Hey! Don't ignore me you little sl-**


	9. Risks Of Friendship

**Just for the record...**

**I'm almost surprised that no one commented on how Roxas nearly said a naughty word... and the fact that no one noticed how out of character that was of him. Also, the fact that no one asked how he even knew that word.**

**Roxas: Hey! You make me seem like some naive little-**

**Roxie, you are naive.**

**Roxas: *pouts* well for the record, I heard Axel call Larxene one,**

**Did you ask him later on what it means?**

**Roxas: Yup**

**What was his reaction?**

**Roxas: He actually turned a little green and panicked... a lot. He full- on grabbed me by the shoulder and was like "don't ever repeat that! It's a very mean word!"**

***Sob* So why'd you try to call ****_me _****one then?**

**Roxas: Because, he said that it means crazy, pushy and smelly... but I kind of feel bad saying it now *lowers head shamefully***

**It's okay! I forgive you! *Jumps forward and hugs him***

**Roxas: *Flails around deperately before giving up***

**Okay! X3 Moving on then...**

**AkuBeku****- Um... *giggles* thanks Bec, that's nice of you to say, I was laughing for ages after reading your review X3**

**For the record (because apparently I've decided to use my fanfic account to relay messages), um... I asked mum, and reminded her about it several times, but apparently she still forgot about it so you know (talking about the halloween thing for the record).**

**Also, mum's taking me to the doctor's tomorrow about my foot so I won't be going to school... I... kind of feel bad though. Because she has better stuff to do than take me to the doctors, and if it turns out to be nothing then it would have been a complete waste of time. By the way, she said that if my foot is fractured or broken or something... I won't be able to go Trick or Treating. If I end up not being able to... I'll still bring the coat for you to go as Xion (is Ruby still going or no?). Maybe, if I end up not being able to go trick or treating I could still talk my mum into having you over for a sleepover and stuff (I'll ask her... no guarantees).**

**For the record! The review that you sent me is one of the reasons I felt bad about having you and Mallory and... well... everyone... helping me. You're already too nice to me!**

**Ultimate Black Ace****- Thankyou for always giving me such good reviews. Um... Roxas actually isn't good at giving love advice, everyone will find out why in a later chapter. I know he isn't really normally in tune with people's emotions, but... it's kind of necessary for this *guilty smile*. Also... yeah, I know I should try and keep it more sombre because of everything that's happening. For the record everyone! There are actually less experiments being performed on them for reasons, so that's one of the reasons why they're happier. Another is... the whole idea that love and friendship can make any situation better... Also I feel guilty. It's like "no! My bubboos! I'm sorry!"**

**Roxas: Why are you calling me a... 'bubboo?'**

**Because that's what you are! And I feel terrible for making your life miserable!**

**Roxas: Then why don't you make it that we're magically rescued by a bunch of flying, rainicorns who zap the Superior, and Saix, and those other jerks and turn them into daisies and buttercups.**

**...**

**Disregarding how you came up with that, it's actually really tempting... I kinda wanna do that now (maybe I'll make it an alternative ending :3).**

**By the way, I've worked out how it's gonna end now!**

**Roxas: Really?**

**Yeah... And the way it ends... like... it could stay like that, or it could be turned into a sequel.**

**Roxas: Okay... what happens to me?**

***Whispers***

**Roxas: ...**

**Roxas: Somehow I find that unbelievable. I meet a bunch of fairies who turn all of ****_us_**** into fairies, and everyone gets married and lives happily ever after.**

**Did you really think I would tell you. Now if you could do the disclaimer, my throat's ****_really_**** hurting now. **

**Roxas: Okay... Disclaimer, ****_again_****. No... Jessica doesn't own Kingdom Hearts, or Square Enix, or me... (though I know she wishes she did).**

**Of course I do! Then I could make you go marry Xion!**

**Ignoring Roxas' adorable panic attack over the idea of marrying Xion... let's start. Hope you like (got a bit more Namiku in it. Also something a little sob-worthy...maybe just to me though, I don't know about everyone else, it could just be the guilt that-**

**Red-faced Roxas: Just shut up already!**

**RokuShi~**

**Roxas: *Flails around a bit* *Runs off so no one (me) can see him blushing***

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Risks Of Friendship**

_'Will you take the risk? So many people… it would take just one nudge to befriend them… will you?'_

Namine sat with Riku talking, while he listened. She had asked the boy to model for one of her drawings in the hope that they would have a chance to get to know each other better. Riku had, of course, jumped at the chance.

So now he sat opposite the girl, listening to Namine as she spoke to him about her time at the organisation, along with her incredibly useful power that involved controlling memories. Roxas stored this information away for later reference while he and Sora looked on with different opinions of the matter.

Sora was giggling and smiling indulgently at the scene before him. While Roxas watched with a faint frown, trying to decide whether or not he _should_ allow Riku and Namine to be together. Despite what he had told her, Roxas was uncertain about the matter. However, he decided that- if the love-struck expression on the teenagers' faces were anything to go by- the two of them would be good together. Even if he, himself was not overly fond of Riku. Roxas shrugged, he wasn't the one who would be dating the boy. In spite of what Sora had initially believed. Roxas involuntarily shuddered; the idea of Riku liking him, following _him_ around with that idiotic expression on his face was utterly morbid.

Later in the afternoon, with Sora gone for his appointment, Roxas was reading once more to distract himself from the worry that he felt whenever someone he knew had to go for their 'check-up'. A shadow fell over his page and he looked up to see Riku standing there, a passive expression resting carefully among his features, betrayed by the sense of turmoil and fear displayed in his eyes. Roxas tilted his head to one side, waiting for Riku to explain what he wanted, curious as to what he could be frightened of. After a moment the boy spoke, "Roxas, I need to ask you something." Roxas nodded, "okay then… ask." Riku looked out of the room, over to where Namine sat colouring one of her pictures, humming softly under her breath. He turned back to Roxas, "I… _really_ like Namine. And I know you don't like me… _at all_, and you don't trust me or anything but I… think I love her and… I was hoping that; well, you wouldn't do anything to… convince Namine to not be my girlfriend or… anything."

Roxas rolled his eyes, _'it's almost like he's the anxious suitor asking the father for permission to marry his daughter'_ he smirked at the mental image. He turned to the boy and shrugged, "I figured out straight away how you felt about Namine, and her feelings for you aren't exactly… well-hidden. I mean… even _I_ noticed," Roxas frowned, "wait forget that. Um, anyway, t-the fact that you would go so far as to ask me for 'permission' or… _whatever_ it is you're doing, just goes to show that you really, genuinely care about Namine. I'm hardly going to stand in the way of your feelings, if it'll make her happy, I don't mind… as long as you don't hurt her, in which case, I feel obliged to tell you, that I will _not_ be forgiving."

Riku stared at the blonde, before a smile lit his features, "maybe I was wrong about you," he said softly, "maybe we _could_ be frie-" "Don't you go all sappy on me now," Roxas warned, "I suggest you go tell Nam how you feel soon. As I already said to her, don't go turning this into a drama. We've got enough of that simply from our situation." He was fairly certain that this advice was appropriate; Namine had acted as though it had been helpful so- though Roxas wouldn't admit it- even though he had been initially uncertain whether they would find it useful, he had used it, it had been the only advice he could think to give them. But Roxas was fairly certain that- if Namine's reaction was anything to go by- it was fairly good advice.

Riku smirked, nodded slightly, and walked off. Not noticing when Roxas' lips twitched a little into what almost could have been a smile. As he left the room, Roxas put down his book and stared at a wall, "friends, huh?" he murmured to himself. "Why should I still refuse the offer of friendship? The fact that I've befriended Sora shows that I'm willing to give all that stuff another shot. I wonder if… Axel and Xion still want to be friends. I wonder if Namine does." He glanced over at the door that Riku had walked out of a few moments ago, "I wouldn't mind being friends with Kairi either, and as for Riku… he's an arrogant jerk but… not as bad as I initially thought. Not to mention, it would be easier for Namine if he and I got along." Roxas frowned; "now I'm turning into some sentimental old-" There was a crash nearby, then a horrified cry. Roxas' head whipped around, was that Kairi? He got to his feet, leaving his novel behind he walked out of the room and headed towards the sound.

He arrived to an unpleasant sight, Sora was leaning on Kairi- who was stumbling under his weight- his eyes were half-closed, and his face twisted into a grimace of pain. Roxas ran over and helped Kairi with the brunette, barely noticing when Riku came over to help as well. They carried the boy to his room and lay him down, "what did they do this time?" Kairi whispered softly, voice laced with horror.

Roxas ignored her and examined the boy, it didn't take him long to pull up his shirt and find the long, sewn-up cut that stretched across Sora's stomach. He frowned, it looked as though they had done that, then- judging by the way some of them had come loose- made him do some form of strenuous exercise. The Organisation members weren't… nice, but they knew how to stitch up a wound. Sora smiled weakly at their expressions, "they wanted to test some new healing prototype or something," he coughed out, blood speckled his lip and Roxas motioned for him to be silent.

_'I have my answer for __**that**__ at least, not that it helps… it must have worked fairly well for it not to be bleeding that much,'_ he thought to himself while checking the brunette for anymore injuries. Other than a few small scratched on his arms, and the multiple dots that accompanied the injections they were always given, Sora was fine.

He turned to Kairi and Riku, "they already patched him up pretty well, he's bleeding a little, so we'll need a damp towel to fix that up. Other than that, he could probably do with some water, food and rest. He'll be fine once he gets those." The two nodded, relief washing over their faces like a wave, before running out of the room to get the things Roxas had asked for.

Namine slipped in, glanced at Sora and gasped, "Is he going to be okay?" she asked Roxas who nodded, before turning back to Sora. "Okay then… blink once for no, twice for yes, seeing as how it's best you don't move around too much. Got it?" Two blinks. Roxas smiled, "are you feeling hungry?" One blink, "thirsty?" One blink, "and are you feeling tired?" Two blinks, "okay then. You go to sleep, get some rest. When you wake up, one of us will be here. If you feel thirsty, there'll be water at hand, if you feel hungry, there'll be food nearby. When you're asleep, we'll clean up the blood. And if you wake up and need to use the bathroom, one of us will help you. If you have an itch, one of us will scratch it for you, okay? Just… try not to move too much, can you do that?" Two blinks. "Good, get some sleep." Sora obediently closed his eyes, and as his breathing slowed, Namine turned to Roxas and smiled gently, "you're real good in situations like this. It's nice to know we can all rely on you." Roxas didn't respond. All he was thinking of was how much it was hurting to see his friend in pain, how much he hated it. And he remembered one of the reasons why he didn't want friends in the first place.

* * *

**Yes, Roxas gave Riku the exact same love advice he gave Namine, because he is hopeless at that sort of thing and that was the only bit of advice he knew (you'll find out how he... thought of it in a later chapter... I already said that didn't I?)**

**Roxas: They were both happy with my advice.**

**Yeah... but it wasn't... you should be quiet now, I'm gonna end up spoiling something and I ****_really_**** don't want to.**

**Roxas: Um... sorry...?**

**It's cool... if people review I'll forgive you X3**

**Roxas: Hey! That's not fair! You bul-**


	10. Surprise

**I'm writing a depressing chapter at the moment, and I was sort of sitting there going, "no... no... this is not okay, in any way of form. Why did I do this? What was I thinking?"**

**So yeah... to cheer myself up decided to upload this happy chapter.**

**Roxas: Why didn't you just have a break from this fanfiction all together?**

**Because I wanna get it finished!**

**Roxas: Uh-huh.**

**I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I own the story line though (which would explain why it's a not very good one X3)**

* * *

**Chapter Ten: Surprise**

_'You didn't realise but… once you let one in, you start to let them all in'_

Roxas sat next to Sora's bed, one eye on its occupant, the other on the novel in front of him. He recalled Riku's comment earlier that he read almost as much as Zexion and he didn't know whether to be flattered, insulted or simply not respond. He had noticed that Riku had been acting more pleasant to him lately, so, in response, he was more pleasant as well. When Namine saw this, she had found Roxas and thanked him profusely for sorting out his differences with Riku, she hugged him, saying that he was a 'good friend' and she was glad that she approved of her feelings for Riku because his opinion of her mattered.

Roxas had frowned, then hesitantly hugged her back, the fact that Namine viewed him as a friend came as a surprise to him, and he wondered when she had started seeing him like that. However, he decided to not mention it, aware of the warm feeling it gave him when she called him that, and when she thanked him.

Roxas looked up from his novel, "is the risk that comes with friendship worth it in the end?" he mused aloud, "definitely." The voice came from the bed and Roxas' head snapped around to see Sora looking at him, smiling gently. A small crease appeared in Roxas' brow as he tried unsuccessfully to hide the fact that he was uncomfortable with Sora hearing his thoughts. Sora gave a throaty chuckle, then looked up at him, "it's okay, you don't have to feel embarrassed you know. One of the good things about friends is that you can tell them anything and not have to worry about them judging you. It's not good to keep things to yourself all the time. A person would explode if they did. Everyone needs someone to rant to every now and then."

Roxas stared at the brunette, surprised by such sober words of wisdom coming from the normally hyper boy. Sora smiled, "I am capable of thinking things through reasonably, you realise that right?" The smile widened, "like Yoda, I can be." He added in an odd, croaky voice, Roxas frowned, "sorry but… I don't… understand that reference… and I don't think you're an idiot or anything if that's what you're trying to suggest!" Sora rolled his eyes, but didn't comment, Roxas didn't either, simply glad that his friend was feeling well enough to actually be acting in this way.

"To answer your initial question regarding friendship," Roxas tried to intercede, beginning to say that he hadn't been specifically asking anyone, nor had he expected an answer, but Sora spoke over the top of him, "I am aware that this question was not meant for me, but I'll answer it anyway, because I think you should be more willing to let people in. The simple fact of the matter is that while it can hurt when someone you care about is in pain- and don't try to hide it, I know you feel that way. Remember, I know you extremely well, as well as you know me. Anyway, the fact that you feel this way obviously makes you unwilling and unsure about friendship. But, friendship brings happiness and joy into a person's life. When you're sad, you can rely on your friends to cheer you up, when you're lonely, they'll be your company. Friends are just… you can rely on them, they support you and you support them and as long as you do that, even if something bad has happened, you can help each other through it." Roxas frowned, he didn't know what to say to that, but before he could even form a coherent sentence in his mind Sora added on, "you don't have to say anything just… give it some thought, okay? I'm your friend, I – and I know how typical this sounds but- I only want what's best for you," He smiled and Roxas felt that curious warm feeling spread through him. It made him want to dance, it made him want to jump up and run around, it made him want to express it in _some_ way.

Sora's eyes widened and Roxas tilted his head to one side, "what?" he asked, curious, the warm feeling was still there. Before Sora could reply, Riku and Namine walked in holding hands. Roxas turned and saw this, and the warm feeling grew, it was obvious that either one or the other had confessed, and the fact that they were together now, that something like this could still happen in a situation like theirs, was good in his opinion. Looks of shock, not unlike that of Sora's appeared on Riku and Namine's face, but Roxas didn't notice. He was too distracted trying to work out what this feeling was. What was its name? It felt familiar, like when one brings out a shirt that was once their favourite but had not been worn for some time. Roxas knew he hadn't felt this for a long time, it made him want to hug someone, it gave him a warm… _fuzzy_ feeling.

He got up, thinking that maybe he could ask Axel about it, "I'll let you guys talk to Sora," he leaned in in a conspiring manner and whispered, "I'm glad to see that you decided to confess your feelings," the looks of shock were replaced with identical blushes before Roxas walked out of the room.

He thought about what Sora had said, and slowly, the idea came to him that he had this feeling because of his friend. Knowing that he would be there to support him, knowing that Namine was grateful to him, it made him feel like this.

In that instant he decided that, if friends could give him such a pleasant emotion, if you could really rely on them, if you could really turn to them, like Sora had said, if they could help you through the bad stuff then… maybe friends _were_ worth the risk. He knew it would be hard, making himself open up after all these years, but they would help him, because that's what friends do.

He passed Kairi and gave her a small wave to which she returned before stopping completely and turning to stare at him as he walked by. Roxas, once more, didn't notice, too immersed in his thoughts to notice Kairi's surprise nor wonder what it could be at.

Axel was in the lounge room with Xion, they were both reading but looked up upon his arrival. And stared.

Roxas felt his cheeks tinge red when Xion kept on staring at him, but he told himself that he was being foolish, he had come here to ask Axel a question, not wonder about why he seemed to react so strongly to Xion. Maybe he was allergic to her? It didn't matter right now.

He turned to Axel, but before he could form his question, Roxas received one of his own, "Roxas… are you smiling?" Roxas stopped; he felt the smile that had indeed been on his face gradually fade as he became aware of it. His eyes widened when he realised that it had, in fact been a _smile_. Not a smirk or twitch of the lips, a _genuine smile_. "I haven't seen you smile since _forever_," Axel whispered in awe, and Xion nodded her agreement. Vaguely, Roxas realised that this had, probably been the reason people had been staring at him. Xion spoke up in a soft, thoughtful tone, "you have a nice smile Roxas, it makes you feel warm and happy inside when you see it."

Roxas felt his face heat up and fiddled nervously with the hem of his shirt, "um… thanks Xion." He mumbled, not looking at her.

Then one of the words she had said came back to him, _'happy…'_ and Roxas realised. For the first time, in a long time, he was happy. And he smiled.

* * *

**See... it was happy. Everyone's happy, everything's happy... let's all be happy.**

**Roxas: I'll pass.**

**But you were happy before!**

**Roxas: Well... listening to you rant has leeched my happiness away.**

**:O... :T**

**Roxas: X3**


	11. What Is This?

**I'm basically going on a serial updating spree I think. Gonna upload a few chapters at the moment together simply because I'm really close to finishing typing up the entire fanfic and I don't see why I shouldn't.**

**Roxas: Um... for the sake of continuity?**

**...**

**I didn't say I needed one Roxas... thanks anyway.**

**Roxas No problem X3**

**Okay... a bit of (a lot of) RokuShi in this chapter. Personally, I like it quite a bit and think it's quite cute, but that's only because of reasons.**

**Roxas: So... when you say RokuShi...**

**Yup... you and Xion**

**Blushing Roxas: Nyaah! Maybe you should upload this chapter another time, no one really wants to read it anyway!**

**Gee... thanks T.T**

**Since I know you ****_really_**** want everyone to read this chapter and you're actually just joking, here it is!**

**Roxas: Wait!**

**Oh right, almost forgot, thanks Roxie X3**

**I don't own Kingdom Hearts, nor do I own Maximum Ride. I didn't come up with the shipping name RokuShi either. I have no idea who did that. But good job, stranger, whoever you are. You have my congratulations for creating the shipping name for practically the cutest shipping in the history of ever.**

**Now... onto the story**

**Roxas: *Starts flailing around* *Realises he can't do anything to stop me* *Hides underneath his quilt***

* * *

**Chapter Eleven: What Is This?**

_'Feelings are tricky things, hard to decipher… what are you really feeling?'_

Sora was able to move around without any pain now, the wound had healed quickly due to the effects of whatever potion the organisation had used on him, but Roxas couldn't help but worry in spite of it. He knew that situations such as the one they were in were, in fact, common in the institute. But for him, this situation was uncomfortably unfamiliar; he had been called on to help with injured people in the past- he seemed to have a natural flair for it and always managed to keep a cool head- but he had never had someone who he genuinely cared for, one hundred percent. Well, he may sometimes worry… _a bit_ about Xion. He _had_ reacted badly the first time he had seen Xion in a bad condition; a slight blush arose upon the blonde's cheeks at the memory of himself rushing about frantically as the source of his panic tried unsuccessfully to calm him down. He had realised after that, that Xion was capable of taking care of herself, but he still felt worried. That incident had been one of the few times he had lost his cool. It had been one of the few times he had panicked, and it was still a major source of embarrassment for him. What was worse was that Xion had been there to see it, though he didn't know why he thought it was worse like that.

He had eventually put it down to the fact he had only been at the institute for a few years and was new and unsure as to how to react. Admittedly, he still felt almost uncontrollably horrified when Xion would come back in a bad condition, he would worry about her when she left for her check-up, and he found that included in that now was Sora, Riku, Kairi and Namine. He found that he worried about all of them, even Axel who didn't even have to worry about things like that anymore. Not that any of them would notice, he had learnt by now to hide what he was feeling, so no one ever knew what he was thinking. In the institute, things like 'emotions' and 'sympathy' could quickly become a weakness, something people would be all too willing to exploit.

Roxas sighed as the brunette boy jumped to his feet to stretch, only to wince as the stitches in his stomach stretched painfully and nearly reopened. He turned to Roxas and gave the boy a sheepish grin to which the blonde rolled his eyes and gave another sigh. Sora giggled softly, "Guess I've gotta remember not to make sudden movements like that." Roxas raised an eyebrow, "you think?" he asked in a sarcastic tone, not bothering to mention that that had in fact been the first instruction the blonde had given his friend in order to help his injury heal quicker.

Xion came in at that moment and sat on the end of the couch that Roxas was also sitting; Roxas moved his feet away, embarrassed at the idea of touching her. Sora frowned, "hey! I was sitting there!" Xion raised an eyebrow in a manner not unlike that of Roxas, "and now I am sitting here," she informed him in a matter-of-fact manner. Roxas bit his lip to prevent himself laughing at the expression on Sora's face- as well as Xion's response- and turned back to his book.

Sora's transformed into a mischievous smile that spelled trouble. Roxas heard a surprised squeal, and the foreign sound caused him to look up once more from his book. He was confronted by a somewhat surprising scene.

Sora was sitting on top of Xion who has a vaguely pained look on her face. Her cheeks were tinted red, and she kept glancing over at Roxas who realised she must have been slightly embarrassed about the sound she had just made. Though why she kept looking at him- and why her blush kept on getting deeper each time she did- he couldn't figure out.

Maybe it was because he was a bit preoccupied with how _cute_ he thought Xion had been looking at that moment, since he rarely saw her blush; but it took Roxas a few moments to realise that Sora was, in fact, _sitting on top of her_. For some reason, he felt instantly irritated at the boy, he couldn't understand why. Sora was wriggling around on her lap, Xion was still glancing at him, and Roxas was getting more and more annoyed. Finally, he closed his book and got to his feet, "Roxas?" he heard Sora call out behind him as he limped- thanks to a check-up with the Organisation that had happened not long before the one with Sora- out of the room, "now you both have seats," he threw back over his shoulder, a scowl set firmly on his face.

He ended up on the clock tower, arms wrapped around his legs, chin resting on his knees in a pose that some might define as 'sulking'. Roxas still couldn't understand why he had such a problem with what had just happened; he reflected that he always seemed to have reacted strongly to anything concerning Xion. It was similar with Sora now as well, but… slightly different as well. Roxas more or less saw the brunette as a brother, so naturally, he cared about him. But he didn't see Xion like that. He admitted that he cared about the others now as well, Namine, Axel, Kairi and Riku; he cared for them like friends. But he didn't see Xion like that _either_.

He wondered if there even _was_ a word for the type of 'caring' he felt for Xion; after some moments of consideration, Roxas decided that if there was, he couldn't think of it.

He heard movement behind him but didn't bother to turn; only one other person knew he came up here. He felt the irritation rise in him once more and he struggled to quell it, there was a burning, bitter feeling, and it rested in the bottom of his stomach. It was like this irritation was rising from that feeling like some kind of noxious gas; he couldn't do anything to stop it.

He turned to Sora standing there, looking at him curiously. His evident concern abated the feeling a little, but didn't stop it completely; he sighed internally, _'yet another odd feeling I have no name for,_' he thought to himself.

The brunette stared at the blonde- who stared right back- for some moments, before Sora seemed to finish his assessment of his friend's condition, "you're jealous." He stated matter-of-factly.

Roxas' eyes widened, '_jealous…?_'

* * *

**Would you look at that, Roxas is jealous.**

**Roxas: No I'm not!**

**Really... looked like you were acting pretty jealous to me.**

**Roxas: Well, you're wrong! Just because I think Xion's super pretty and cute and I don't want her to be with anyone else doesn't mean-**

***Meaningful look***

**Roxas: Oh shut up! No one likes you anyway!**

**Okay then, let's upload the next chapter, yay!**

**Roxas: *Sulks***

**XD**


	12. Jealousy Comes From Being

**You know the drill... Kingdom Hearts doesn't belong to me**

**Roxas: But she wishes it did and yaddi ya**

* * *

**Chapter Twelve: Jealousy Comes From Being…**

_'Why do you react so strongly? …Do you choose to trust him on this?'_

Sora sat next to Roxas, grinning smugly at the blonde, "you're _jealous_, don't try to deny it, you may be good at hiding your feelings but _I_ can read you like a book." Roxas frowned, "Sora, you _hate_ reading." The brunettes shook his head, flustered, "that's not what I… it's a… oh, whatever." Roxas chuckled at Sora's pout and the brunette turned to him and smiled, "you're so much more cheerful lately. I don't understand why you tried so hard to hide your feelings for so long. I was talking to Xion the other day, and she said that you had the _cutest_ smile, and that she _absolutely loved_ your laugh and that she wished you would do it more often, because she feels happy when you're happy."

Roxas froze, shocked, he remembered that at one point he had wanted to know how his happiness made her feel. Well, now he had his answer. A blush rose to his cheeks and his face quickly became a deep red, _'blushing isn't a very… masculine thing for me to do!'_ he thought to himself frantically, _'Why is it that whenever Xion's involved, I always end up blushing like… like Sora when I mention Kairi!'_

He heard a quiet giggle from beside him and he glanced over at Sora, "you like her." He was informed by the brunette. Roxas frowned, "what?" "You have a _crush_, on _Xion_." Roxas' face turned an even deeper red, "_what_?"

Sora giggled again, "Roxas is in love, Roxas is in love." He sang tauntingly. Roxas shook his head frantically, _'why is this getting me so flustered?'_ he thought to himself, _'normally when someone makes a stupid comment I simply laugh them off. So why… don't I want to deny it. Am I really… no! I can't be…'_ He looked up at Sora who was still singing, "Hey! I bet that's why you're jealous huh, Roxas?" the boy asked, stopping his singing and turning to him instead, "you don't like the thought of someone else being with Xion, right?"

Roxas tried to give the boy a condescending look, "no Sora, I am not-" "Yes, you are!" The brunette butted in. Roxas didn't like how this conversation was going, he searched around desperately for a way to effectively end the conversation, or change the subject. An evil grin lit up his features and he turned to Sora, slowly, deliberately.

"One would wonder how you seem to know so much about being in love." He began; smirking at the boy who already had a slightly terrified expression on his face, as though he knew what was coming. "One could almost believe that _you_ were in love. But who with, hmm? Not Namine, not Xion… could you _possibly_ be in love with… _Kairi_?"

It was Sora's turn to blush, and blush he did. It gave Roxas an everlasting amount of satisfaction that he had successfully drawn all attention away from him and Xion. Sora was so embarrassed about admitting that sort of thing, the conversation would leave the topic of love completely now, he was sure. Or so he thought.

Sora got to his feet, "fine!" he shouted, "I like Kairi! I… I'd even go as far to say I _love_ her! But at least I can admit it! Come on! Are you saying you don't feel anything when you think of hugging Xion, or kissing her or… or doing other things!" He searched Roxas face- which was now effectively red once more- then nodded and walked off, "I'll leave you to think things over!" He called out behind his shoulder

Roxas didn't respond, his entire body was warm, and he was imagining the things Sora and suggested. He couldn't help it; now that it had been put in his mind. He imagined hugging Xion, kissing her. And the 'other things', was Sora talking about things… like holding hands. His buried his face into his knees, unable to comprehend why he was so embarrassed, nor why he couldn't help but feel that walking around with Xion's hand in his would be something truly wonderful. He imagined she would be warm, and her lips would be soft, and kissing her would be like- _'what am I thinking!'_ he thought to himself frantically. He groaned, _'damn you Sora! Putting these ideas into my head! I don't even care! This doesn't affect me at all!'_ But somehow, he knew that was a lie.

He raised his head from his knees, gazing up at the view in front of him. _'You don't like the thought of her being with someone else!'_ He frowned, he had never realised it before. Sora wasn't necessarily right about him being in love, but he was right about _that_ at least. When he imagined something like that happening, he felt that burning, bitter feeling arse in him once more, _'jealousy…'_ he remembered, _'that's what Sora called it… Am I really jealous because I'm… in love?'_ He shook his vigorously, and tried to think logically, "I don't… have any experience in this department," he muttered, "So I'll have to talk to someone who does. And it won't be Sora. I need someone with a less biased view on the whole thing." He frowned, then stood up decisively.

"I'll go talk to Axel."

* * *

**Let's have Axel in for a guest interview next chapter!**

**Roxas: Let's not.**

**Oh hush, you're busy being jealous and in love with Xion so you don't even care.**

**Roxas: Wh-what! *Blushes* That isn't true that's just... *Blushes even more* Oh shut up.**

**Rude much X3**


	13. In love?

**AkuBeku in this chapter, keehee. In case you're wondering, that's basically Axel with my OC (which is just one of my best friends Bec) I don't ship Axel with anyone from Kingdom Hearts, so all is right with the world and I can ship AkuBeku and VenJess to my heart's desire! Yay!**

**Roxas: What's VenJess?**

**Me and Ven X3**

**Roxas: Why?**

**Because he's just so cute and amazing and I love love LOVE him and there's no love interest for him (and please, people, don't go saying something like...Vanitas or whatever. As I do believe I've said at some time in some place, I have nothing against what you ship, but I personally DO NOT SHIP VAN-VEN or whatever the f*** it's name is).**

**Roxas: 8O... You swore**

**Yes I'm very naughty aren't I?**

**Okay... I don't own KH or Maximum Ride, I techinically don't own Bec either (it'd be kinda weird if I did) she is my friend.**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen: …In Love…?**

_'When faced with the evidence, you still want to deny it… will you?'_

Even when he didn't consider them friends, Axel had always been the one Roxas had gone to when he had important questions that needed answering. Axel had a room in a separate dorm, with the other Organisation members. They all had locks on their doors, in case one of the experiments 'broke' (as many did) and tried to kill one of them. In Axel's dorm, there were no crying children or empty rooms. It could have easily been the nicest dorm in the institute, if the people in it had been able to match that description… Roxas shook his head, he had come here to ask a question, not think about those other things. And as he knocked on the door to the red-head's room, he couldn't help but feel that this was possibly one of the most important questions he had ever asked him. After receiving the call to come in, Roxas entered the room and sat down on the end of the bed- Axel was looking at what seemed to be a photo, and smiling fondly at it.

After a few moments, the red-head tucked the photo into a pocket, but not before Roxas caught a glimpse of Axel with a tall girl who had dark, short hair.

"So what's the question, huh?" Axel asked, leaning back against the wall. Roxas rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "Am I that easy to read?" The taller teen shrugged, "yeah, pretty much. It's not really hard to work out that you have a question; the confused expression on your face conveys that it's a particularly important one and you're having a heck of a lot of trouble figuring it out on your own. Just ask instead of beating around the bush." A thought seemed to occur to him, "you don't need, _The Talk_ yet, do you?" Roxas frowned, "the talk… what's that?" Axel shook his head frantically, "uh, it's nothing! Nothing of concern! Don't worry about. Actually how did that even come up in this conversation?" He chuckled nervously, "don't… it's… not important. _Ever_."

Roxas sat for a moment in baffled silence, the subject of 'The Talk'- whatever it was- had come up a few times in the past, and it was one of the only times Axel ever spoke in such a panicked, flustered tone. If it was _that_ bad, he didn't want to know; he had enough problems as is.

"So, what's your problem then?" Axel asked, in a blatantly obvious attempt to steer the conversation away from the previous subject. Roxas rolled his eyes, "Axel, what is love? How can you tell if you love someone?"

He was surprised to see the teenager hesitate for a moment before answering, "That's a tricky question. There are lots of different types of love. Love is also quite different for different people. A lot of the time, it's one of those… unconditional things… like… if you really love them, you'll continue to do so no matter what. Um… well, it's generally accepted that there's the type of love you feel for friends. You care about them and you want them to be happy. If they're hurt you're upset, that sort of thing. That's usually how feel about anyone that you love. Really, the only thing that's different is the reason _why_ you love them. Another type is love for family which is _basically_ the same, except it's a bit stronger because there's that connection you share with those in your family, the type of connection that is forged from knowing a person your whole life. The final type of love is the purest type. Being _in_ love with someone. With your most important person. Their opinion of you matters more than anything else, you feel happy when they're happy. Sad when they're sad. Sometimes you look at them and it feels like your heart is going to explode. You miss them when they're gone. When they're near your heart beats quickly, you feel like you can't breathe. They make you react in ways you never thought was possible…" Roxas glance up at the boy in front of him who was now speaking in a somewhat wistful tone.

Tilting his head to one side, Roxas repeated the question he had asked Sora not so long ago- only vaguely pausing to wonder at the fact that he felt so comfortable teasing his friends as well as how he now had no problem with referring to Axel a friend, "you seem to know a lot about love. Is there someone you're in love with right now?" Axel blushed and Roxas stared at him in amazement, _'they make you react in ways you never thought was possible…'_ _'Well, he's right about that part at least.'_ Roxas thought to himself, smiling slightly at Axel's reaction. He leaned forward, "so, who is it?" he asked, grinning now.

Axel went even redder before finally seeming to gain his composure and smirking, "you wanna know that badly? Fine." He bought out the photo he had been looking at earlier when Roxas had first come into the room. He started explaining in a slightly apologetic voice, "You're aware that the members of the Organisation are allowed a bit more freedom than the rest of you. Like… we're allowed to go into town- of course, we've still all got those transmitter chips in each of us. So it's not like we can make a run for it, or tell anyone about the institute. But we have a bit of freedom." Roxas nodded, he knew this already. "Well, one time I was out in town, and I saw this girl get grabbed and dragged into an alley. Well, I was thinking, 'pretty girl in trouble? I am so there, I'll be her hero!' or whatever. Anyway, I run over and there's like, five of them, and they're all crowded around her saying things like 'give us your money and maybe we'll go easy on you!' You know… all those jerky, evil, kinda-cliché-but-still-scary-if-they're-directed-at-you lines. And this chick, she just, stares at them for a few moments then she goes, 'screw you! You think you're evil? You think you're scary? Well you haven't seen envy from Fullmetal Alchemist! He's the biggest douche! He killed H- Oops… spoilers… anyway, you ain't got nothing on him! And if Edward and Roy and all of them can beat _him_, then I can handle bunch of idiots like yourself who probably don't even have a Tumblr blog!' And she ended up… somehow… managing to beat the living daylights out the lot of them, before I could even join in and help."

Axel chucked, a somewhat dreamy look came into his eyes, "she's real hard-core, and absolutely crazy, she's heaps of fun to be around, and when I saw her, and got to speak to her, I just knew that… she was the one." Roxas stared, vaguely impressed with this girl for somehow managing to turn _Axel_ into some kind of love-struck, starry-eyed _kohai _**(1)**.

He tilted his head to one side curiously, "so what's her name?" Axel grinned, "Bec, how _cool_ is her name! I mean-" "Okay, okay." Roxas interrupted; it was utterly hilarious seeing Axel act like this, but it didn't really answer his question… or rather, it didn't help him much with his current situation. "So is it like… you see her, and you instantly know that you love her?" He asked. Axel shook his head, "it varies from person to person, for some people it might be love at first sight, for others, it could be a gradual thing. Like, for years you were just friends, then you realised that your emotions went into some kind of… mini whirlwind everytime they were near, and you realise that you're in love." He grinned, "Finally realising your feelings for Xion are you?" He asked, smirking. Roxas went red, "oh… shut up!" He growled, before getting to his feet and walking out of the room, blushing a furious red.

He didn't go to the clock tower this time- he was concerned that Sora might deem it necessary to come and confuse him once more- instead, he ended up in his room, lying on the bed, gazing up at the ceiling.

He thought over what Axel had told him, he thought over what Sora had told him, and he thought over how he reacted around Xion, and he realised, and sat up in his bad, staring at the wall in front of him in shock,

"I _am_ in _love_ with Xion!"

* * *

**(1) Kohai; Underclassman (in terms of kohai and senpai how senpai is the upperclassman and stuff)**

**So Roxas... admitting your feelings are you now?**

**Roxas: *Blushes* Sh-shut up! *Runs off and hides***

**Okay... then... Axel... what do you think of Bec?**

***Turns to where Axel is sitting gazing lovingly at his photo again, I should probably take that off him if he's not gonna listen***

**Axel: *Looks up* Did someone say Bec?**

***Sigh***

**Yes, I did. I wanted to know what you thought of her.**

**Axel: Oh! She is the most amazing person ever! And she is hot! And lot's of fun to be with and-**

**Okay, never mind. I asked for interview purposes but if you're just gonna go on like that... I mean... happy for you but... I think I'm gonna go play with Roxas instead.**

**Axel: B-but... *sad-face* I wanna talk about Bec more...**

***Walks away***

**Roxie! Huggles!**

**Roxas: No get away! Leave me alone! I don't love Xion! Stop putting words in my mouth! I'll never admit to it, you can't make me!**

**Roxie~ I already did.**

**Roxas: Have I ever told you that I really don't like you.**

**Yes you have, almost every chapter in fact.**


	14. Avoidance

**I basically went on a RokuShi (accidentally had RikuShi at first and didn't notic) spree and read and favourited all these RokuShi fanfics. Oh... what is my life.**

**Anyway, I'll upload a few chapters now, even though I haven't gotten any reviews *sob***

**Though technically, I don't know why I'd be sobbing since I really only waited one day, and I don't really mind.**

**Roxas: Then quit whinging.**

**I'm not whinging!**

**Roxas: Sure looks like it to me.**

**:T**

**One would think you'd be kinder to me since I'm the... you know, ****_author_****.**

**Roxas: Meh, I'm not scared of you.**

**Hmmph...**

**RokuShi~**

**Roxas: *shrieks and runs away* I don't love Xion!**

**Oh... Roxas in denial is so cute :)**

**You know you do Roxas!**

**Roxas: ...**

**Roxas: Okay, I maybe... love her... a little bit.**

**:D**

**That's good, soon you shall confess!**

**Roxas: What! No! I can't tell Xion how I feel! There's no way she'd love me ba-**

**I don't own Kingdom Hearts... If I did it wouldn't be nearly as popular as it is.**

**Though I wouldn't care, I'd basically make each game a big smooch fest for RokuShi, SoKai, TerQua and Namiku. And AkuBeku and VenJess ;)**

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen: Avoidance**

_'Avoiding the problem doesn't solve the problem… because the problem just comes after you'_

A few days after acknowledging his feelings, Roxas came up with a solution to his problem. He couldn't confess, she would undoubtedly refuse him, then things would become awkward between the two of them, but he couldn't carry on being around her. He lost his focus when she was near, her presence made his heart feel funny and he'd start blushing. He was terrified that he would accidentally blurt out how he felt to her. He didn't want her to hate him.

So he decided that from now on, he would simply avoid her. Problem solved.

It was working well, at least, that's what Roxas thought until Sora came up to him furious, "what are you doing Roxas? Do you know how much you've upset Xion?" Roxas frowned, "what…?" "she thinks you hate her or something because of how you keep avoiding her!" Roxas backed away from Sora, holding his hands in front of him defensively, "I'm not avoiding her." He lied. Sora growled before stepping forward and whacking Roxas over the back of the head, "sure, you just pretty much _run_ away everytime you see her coming. What is wrong with you? I thought you really liked Xion."

Roxas didn't respond. Sora hesitated before leaning down to try and meet Roxas' gaze, "um… Roxas, I didn't hit you _that_ hard… did I?" Roxas shook his head, "I am… avoiding Xion." Sora rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything, "but… I really like her and… what if she finds out?" Suddenly Sora grinned, "Oh… I see how it is. Well don't worry, you know, you should just tell her how you feel. Get it over with. I reckon she's _pretty_ fond of you as well." Roxas glanced at Sora then looked away again- used to Sora's sudden changes in attitude- shaking his head, "says you." Sora sighed, "Think about it this way Roxas, you'll never know if you don't try." "If she's just going to reject me then I don't think I want to try."

They heard someone crying, and glanced at each other before following the sound. They found a brunette girl sitting on the floor trembling, it was obvious she had just come back from a bad check-up. There was a lot of blood.

Roxas recalled the girl's name was Olette, he turned to Sora, "do you know who any of her friends are?" Sora thought for a moment before nodding, "she hangs out with Pence and Hayner a lot, want me to go get them?" Roxas nodded before turning to the girl, hearing Sora's footsteps fade away as he ran off to look.

In the end, there wasn't much Roxas could do, he left Hayner and Pence with instructions as to how to keep her comfortable, and stop her condition worsening, but he didn't have much supplies. All he could do was wrap the cuts, he couldn't stitch them. And, given how badly the girl was hurt, he didn't know if it was enough.

They knew the second the girl was 'gone', the Organisation would swoop in and take her away. They obviously didn't get burial ceremonies.

Roxas didn't want to know what was done with them once they died, he had long ago decided he would be happier not knowing.

He walked off, Sora ran after him, not saying anything, deciding to let Roxas think for a moment.

They ended up on the clock tower, and Sora rolled his eyes at how predictable his friend was being, but he knew that given what had just happened, Roxas needed to be here. So, he didn't comment, choosing to stay silent once more, for the moment.

They sat down together on the edge. Sora waited patiently as Roxas thought things over. Some small part of his mind was still wondering about what Sora had said, but mostly, he was just imagining how terrifying it would be, if it had been Xion, or Sora, or anyone else in place of Olette, not that it wasn't already upsetting that there _was_ someone in that condition, even if they weren't his friend. Sora and silence didn't get along very well, he knew that Roxas was thinking about what had just happened, wondering if there was anything else he could have done better, so he decided to distract him, "you know what I'd really like… a paopu fruit." Roxas glanced at Sora, "a what?" "A paopu fruit, I could give it to Kairi… I mean… where I come from there's this legend that if two people share a paopu fruit together their destinies become intertwined and… stuff." Roxas frowned, "but Kairi probably wouldn't know that story. She'd just think it was a regular fruit." Sora grinned evilly, "exactly, she'd share it with me and we'd be together forever and always!"

Roxas raised an eyebrow, "…really?" The brunette chuckled awkwardly, "not really, I'd… probably explain it to her." Roxas smiled, "well… if I were to end up with Xion- not that I have any intention of letting her know my feelings- one of the first things I'd want to do, would be to get a hold of some sea-salt ice cream and sit up here with her, and watch the sunset together." Sora tilted his head curiously, "why?"

The blonde shrugged one shoulder and looked away, thinking for a moment, "sea-salt ice cream is my favourite food. I still remember how much I loved it when I was a kid. Mum used to give it to us all the time. She told us this story of how our dad proposed, and it was in a high up area, when they were watching the sunset and eating sea-salt ice cream together, so I thought…" he trailed off awkwardly.

Sora smiled and nudged Roxas with one shoulder, "wow, look at that, haven't even asked her out and you're already planning how you're gonna propose." Roxas felt himself flush, and he backed away from the edge before he started flailing around and ended up falling off the edge, Sora laughed at the blonde's reaction before adding in a more sincere, encouraging tone, "so go tell her how you feel, then maybe you _can_ watch the sunset, and eat ice cream together."

Roxas looked at him uncertainly, "I guess it would be… nice."

* * *

**Roxas! Quit procrastinating and just confess already!**

**Roxas: Make me!**

**Okay *Starts writing out romantic RokuShi moment***

**Roxas: Ah! Wait, I was joking!**


	15. Unintentional Confession

**The title says it all.**

**Roxas: Jessica doesn't own Kingdom Hearts- wait... what do you mean the title says it all? What do you mean!**

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen: Unintentional Confession**

_'You can't keep your feelings secret forever… is it really necessary?'_

Roxas hadn't told Xion how he felt, though he had started to act normally again; he no longer attempted to avoid her for fear of upsetting the girl. He often saw Sora glancing at him, then Xion meaningfully, to which the blonde would shake his head fervently in reply.

Xion was gone at the moment. She had been called out for a surprise check-up, and Roxas- now aware of his feelings- found himself more concerned for her than usual.

Sora sat down next to Roxas and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, "relax," he told the blonde sternly, "she'll be back soon." His worry made Roxas snappish; he would have not said what he said next otherwise, "Kairi's next you realise." Sora paled, then shook his head, determinedly putting out an air of nonchalance that Roxas saw right through, "I'm worried about her, but I trust her to take care of herself."

The blonde felt a wave of guilt, Sora had been trying to comfort him, and all he had done in appreciation was make the brunette feel concerned as well.

He smiled half-heartedly at the teenager next to him, "you're right," he informed him lightly, "of course Xion will be okay, Kairi to, they know how to look after themselves." He patted the brunette on the shoulder reassuringly, getting to his feet once Sora smiled brightly, mind put at ease.

Roxas walked out of the room sighing, wishing it was just as easy for him to calm himself as it was to calm Sora.

He went up to the clock tower, as he always did in situations like this, but for once, the calm atmosphere did nothing to help still his inner turmoil. So he turned on his heel and left. Deciding to wait in the reading lounge once more, Roxas wondered why the Superior suddenly called in a surprise appointment. Ever since Sora's appointment, the experiments had died down to practically none- with the exception of that girl, Olette who he later found out, hadn't made it- so, naturally, they had been curious as to why.

Axel had been the one to find out their answer. He had come to talk to them, dragged all of them up to the clock tower (it was one of the only places in the institute without a camera, and Roxas had taken them all up there before, explaining that he found it more calming than terrifying, everyone else had agreed and it had become the regular meeting place) and explained that he had overheard the Superior, Number IV and Number VII talking. Apparently, they had completed the next step towards their ultimate goal, to give back a person's life… but to bring a person back to life, there must be another who is willing to give theirs. No matter what they tried, what calculations they performed, that was the only possible solution. And given the situation, they wouldn't be able to find anyone willing. So now, they were trying to figure out the best way to proceed, a way to 'skip the step' and move onto the next one.

Roxas sat down in the reading lounge, legs coming up, and arms wrapping around them, his chin rested on his knees and he closed his eyes to calm himself.

Naturally, everyone had been quite disturbed to finally find out the ultimate goal of the Organisation. To be able to harness and use people's spirits at will, to drag them away from that eternal peace that they had finally found. To bring a person back to life.

This had made quite a few of Organisation XIII previously confounding actions somewhat more clearer. An example being the clock tower itself; it had been a common question as to why they had no camera there, why they took no measures to stop people using it to end their life. At the least, wouldn't it have meant less experiments? Well now they knew that it didn't take experiments away, not in the least. A person had to be gone, before they could be brought back. So they needed some 'volunteers' for that part of the research as well.

They had agreed that this obviously made the need for escape all the more urgent. So it had come as a wonderful surprise to Roxas and all others on the clock tower that day when they had been informed by the three Organisation members (Axel, Zexion and Demyx) that they had found a way to disable the barriers. Not many of the Organisation members felt the desire to escape anymore, and it still upset Roxas to compare the memory of what they had been like at the beginning, to how the Organisation members were now. He had sat on the edge of the clock tower, facing in, away from the horizon, because the people up there with him had provided him with a different hope.

The plan was coming along well, most of the defences set up to keep them in, now had a counterattack.

The transmitter chips embedded in all of their necks (Organisation member and 'experiment' alike) caused a large problem. They gave the Superior constant, accurate information about the state of those in the institute. He knew where they were, who they were with, if they were sick. He knew the state of their heart, how quickly it was beating, how strongly, he knew how well their bodies were functioning, how well their lungs were working. They knew they would have to remove the chips the second they got away. They couldn't do it while in the institute when the barriers were on. If someone tried to pass through the barriers without permission, the transmitter chip in their neck would react and paralyse the person. Likewise, if someone attempted to remove their chip whilst the barriers were in effect the same thing would happen, whether or not they were inside the barrier…

Xion walked in, all thoughts plaguing Roxas vanished and he stood up and ran over to her. She looked up at him with an unfathomable expression. It was full of sadness and regret and Roxas didn't understand why she felt that way. The relief he felt at her return made him more open, he just knew that he wanted to get rid of that expression on her face, replace it with a smile, so he hugged her tightly. Then froze when he realised what he had done.

Roxas felt the blush rise to his cheeks and he went to move away again, a hundred and one half-formed excuses as to why he had hugged her so suddenly, when he felt arms rise up and wrap around him. Hugging him back.

Xion was hugging him back, not saying a word as to why, so Roxas was silent and simply thought about how nice it felt to have her in his arms like this.

It made him feel happy, and it made his feelings for her swell to the point where they felt like they would explode. Having her in his arms like this, he wanted to hug her whenever he wanted without having to worry how she would react, being able to know she would hug him back. He wanted to walk around holding her hand. He wanted to look into her eyes and find things that no one else had ever seen. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to touch her. He wanted to be near her. And the words came out, before he could stop himself,

"I love you."

* * *

**Roxas: *pouting and sitting on the floor sulking***

**What's wrong?**

**Roxas: You ended it there, now I don't know what Xion says in response.**

**Oh grow up, I'm uploading the next chapter now anyway.**

**Roxas: Hmmph.**


	16. Happy Ending?

**Started reading RokuShi fanfics again, and forgot I was uploadin chapters... oops**

**Roxas: Stop reading stories about me... it's weird.**

**But you end up with Xion! Why are you complaining!**

**Roxas: *blush* I just- I mean- with- and-**

**I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I've never been inside Square Enix headquarters, and if I were to say that I really thought up the idea for Kingdom Hearts and it was stolen from me. Well... I'd like to say that, but it'd be a lie. Not to mention it would be a terrible game if I had been the one to come up with it.**

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen: Happy Ending?**

_'You make assumptions, believe you can't be loved… all you need is the right person.'_

"You realise that we all know that you come up here when you're upset about something, don't you?" Roxas stiffened, then turned away from the horizon to see Xion standing, hands behind her back, looking at him calmly.

He glanced at the stairway down, out of the clock tower, wondering if he could get to it before Xion could, "please don't run away." He heard her plead, and he found he couldn't. She would reject him now, he knew she would, and he knew it would break his heart.

But when she asked him in such a way... he couldn't refuse her.

He turned back to look out at the view, resolutely not looking anywhere in her direction. He heard the rustle as she sat down next to him, "what happened when you were at your appointment?" he asked quickly, before she could get a word in. He was putting it off, he knew that, but he couldn't help it.

Xion hesitated, "nothing much, actually… but you know that's not what I want to talk to you about."

Roxas sighed, raised his legs to his chest and rested his cheek on his knee, looking away from Xion, he waited to hear her say the 'I don't love you' or 'I'm sorry but I don't see you that way'. He knew that she would pat him on the shoulder, she would feel guilty about not being able to return his feelings. She was nice like that. She would try to make him feel better, but nothing she would do would work. So she would give up and leave, and Roxas would be left wondering when he had given someone such power over him, and why he had thought he should. It had been why he had run after his confession in the first place.

Of course, it didn't exactly go like that.

"Can you say what you said to me earlier again, please?" Roxas turned back to Xion, eyes wide, cheeks red, she was blushing as well, not meeting his eyes. "W-why do you want to hear me say it again?" He asked her, voice high. Xion didn't respond, simply looking up at him with eyes so full of need that it took his breath away. He sighed, _'she already knows what I told her anyway,_' he thought to himself, so he spun around until he was completely facing her, a determined expression on his face, "I… Xion, I-I …love…you…" his voice trailed off into a small whisper and he inwardly groaned _'if I am going to confess, can't I at least not do it sounding like I'm terrified of her or something!'_

Xion was staring at him, "I though that's what you said, then I thought that maybe it was just me being hopeful." Roxas looked up at her, eyes wide, expression disbelieving, "do you mean you-" "I love you too… Roxas."

And Roxas didn't try to stop himself when he reached forwards and hugged her. He smiled as Xion buried her face in his chest and they stayed like that for some time, both just happy to finally be with the other.

He didn't lean down to kiss her, though part of him dearly wanted to. In all honesty, Roxas knew that he would probably end up collapsing from nerves if he tried to.

It didn't matter right now though, this was enough for him for the moment

Later, as they walked down the stairs from the clock tower, heading towards the reading lounge, they passed Namine and Riku, who smiled when they saw the two together. They sat down together on one of the couches. Both noticed Sora and Kairi who were standing not far off. Both noticed when Sora kissed Kairi goodbye before she walked off. They looked at each other and giggled.

Sora sat down in one of the armchairs and Roxas looked back at Sora, Xion followed suit. Sora noticed their stares and frowned, "why are you looking at me like that? Seriously, its freaky st-" his eyes widened, "you guys are holding hands! Oh my gosh, are you getting married? Roxas you have to let me be your best man!"

Roxas felt his cheeks get more and more warm, and he knew that, once again, Sora's dramatic ramblings about him and Xion had managed to make him blush. He glanced at Xion and saw that her cheeks were as red as he knew his were. He smiled, noting again how _cute_ Xion was when she blushed. He gave her hand a little squeeze, and felt his heart lighten when he felt a small squeeze in response.

He sat on the couch, with Xion next to him and they listened as Sora planned out their wedding down to the last detail, neither bothering to point out how impossible it would be for the two to get married in the first place.

Roxas could have been perfectly content, except replaying in his mind, over and over were the words Xion had whispered, in a voice he hadn't meant to hear when he had hugged her, and he couldn't for the life of him, figure out what she meant when she had said, "I'm sorry."

* * *

**Obviously this isn't the ending, despite the the title of the chapter.**

**I don't think I like this story anymore, I mean, I am doing a terrible job in it, the romance isn't nearly cute enough, I don't talk about what's actually going on the institute so it's easy to forget the situation. I'm tempted to just... stop this story all together and write a bunch of cute RokuShi drabbles instead.**

**I don't know... I'll leave it at this for now and think about it.**

**Roxas: What? You can't leave me stuck in the institute! And why was Xion apologising? What happe-**

**I do a terrible job at making it all suspenseful and stuff. And for the record, Roxas, shouting at me isn't going to change anything.**

**Besides, I kind of don't want to upload any more chapters because after this... yeah, I don't know. Whatever. I'll have to think on it.**

**I guess it would be satisfying to have it finished.**


	17. Doesn't Exist

**So I went onto my reviews and I was thinking 'hmm... wonder if I got a few reviews... it would be nice... probably won't be that many though'**

**So I get on and THERE WERE LIKE... OVER THIRTY REVIEWS AND I'M LIKE "WHAT!?"**

**So I'm just gonna chapter spam you all and upload the rest of the chapters now since I've finished it all and stuff.**

**Roxas: Why?**

**So that I can go onto another story... also if I put it all up in one go, maybe people will forgive me for what I do to certain characters.**

**I don't own Kingdom Hearts... and I am really bad at typing... I kept on putting the wrong letters so I got the most random words coming up but... you know... onto the story!**

**Roxas: Oh God...**

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen: …Doesn't Exist**

_'It happens to two people, at the same time… is it exactly the same? …How do you ask?'_

Roxas was sick. He couldn't remember the last time he had been in such a state, but what concerned him more, was that Xion was unwell also.

At the moment, Sora, Axel and Kairi were sitting with him, insisting on keeping him company, even though it was mostly silent, ignoring his protests. Riku and Namine were with Xion.

Not long after Xion had told Roxas that she loved him, he had found himself feeling weaker. And one afternoon, upon mentioning it to his friends, had found Xion to be in the same state. Their health had seemed almost to decrease identically, as though they had attained the same illness, at the same time, and were having the same reaction to it. Which was- if not impossible- highly unlikely.

Roxas groaned and let his head fall back onto his pillow, frowning he tried to stop himself from thinking too hard about anything, making his headache worse wouldn't suddenly bring some kind of miraculous answer to this 'mystery'. He rolled over and decided that they probably both just got colds.

'Roxas, how are you feeling?" he looked over his shoulder at the red-head girl who had asked him, found her looking at him sympathetically, "do you need a drink or anything?" Roxas sighed, then managed a small, fake smile and shook his head, "I'm fine," he croaked.

To be honest, he wasn't, what he was feeling, didn't feel like any normal cold. On the outside, the only symptoms were that _of_ a cold, so he didn't find it necessary to make his friends worry more.

He did have a head-ache, a sore throat, cough, all those symptoms leading towards it being the flu. It was like that for the first day.

Then Roxas started feeling pains in his heart, like it was being pulled, his power started weakening, as though it were being stretched. He didn't mention it to anyone else, but he was worried about what it meant.

He was worried about if Xion was feeling this pain to.

He wanted to ask but he couldn't get out of bed, and even if he could, if he brought it up, and she was experiencing the same pain as he, what could he do about it? He didn't know what was causing it. And he didn't have any idea what could prevent, or stop, it.

So it was best he didn't know.

He glanced over at the three sitting near his bed- Kairi and Sora talking quietly, Axel playing with a flame- he could hardly run out of his room to go check on Xion. He sighed and looked away again, _'it's probably for the best that they're here to keep an eye after all'_, he thought to himself resignedly.

It went on like this for a week.

Roxas felt his concern rising, as he steadily got worse, and was informed that Xion's case was the same. The pull in his magic increased tenfold, and half the time he was forced bite down on pillow when the others weren't looking, to relieve some of the desire to scream.

He found himself wishing that Xion wasn't going through the same thing as he was, he wished for it more than he wished for himself to get better.

After some time, it stopped.

He felt his power coming back, coiling inside of him, fresh and wonderful. It didn't feel like he was being pulled apart anymore, it felt normal, it felt right.

What's more, it felt like he was getting something back that he had lost many years ago, though he didn't understand _where_ that feeling came from.

Whatever it was, he was sure it wasn't just a common flu.

But he was getting better now, so he knew it didn't matter. He could figure out what it was, what it meant, and it didn't have to be rushed or panicked.

He walked into the reading lounge and sat down. No one else was in there. He pulled his legs up to his chest, and buried his face in his knees.

There was just one problem.

Xion _wasn't_ getting better.

* * *

**Bec got me to read an AlMei fanfic and I put her laptop on top of mine and when I finished and took it off there was this endless stream of 'B's I was tempted to just leave them there for the hell of it but figured that I would probably scare people into thinking I had been killed or something. That has happened to me too many times for it to be excusable.**


	18. Secret

**Blood tests aren't as terrifying as I thought they would be... actually... they were... but they aren't as painful as I thought they would be. *Sigh* I promised Bec I would upload all the chapters because she was threatening to kill me for certain reasons... but there are like... thirty chapters in total (including my alternative ending) so I'm just sitting here going 'yup, this is going to take a while' and Bec is sitting next to me reading AlMei fanfics while she waits for me to finish uploading.**

**Roxas: What's AlMei?**

**Fullmetal Alchemist shipping... it is like Namiku and Royai is like RokuShi and they are all adirable and cute and lovely and amazing and *ranting***

**Roxas: I regret asking now- hey! Stop talking about RokuShi! *blush***

**And it's really interesting story line and- oh! I don't own Kingdom Hearts!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen: Secret**

_'You wanted to know, they told you… you don't want to know anymore'_

Roxas laid down and thought, _'it's unnatural, I know that. But it doesn't necessarily mean the Organisation is involved. But Xion __**had**__ just been called in for a check-up. A really sudden one, as well. It could be coincidence. Besides, I got sick as well, didn't I? But then there's Ax-'_

Axel walked into the room, saw Roxas and stopped, a guilty expression on his face. He turned to leave again and Roxas sighed, irritated and fed-up, "will you stop? I know you're hiding something from me, can you just tell me? I'm sick of the secrets."

Axel hesitated, began to deny it, then realised that nothing he said would deter Roxas, so he reluctantly nodded, and sat down in an armchair, "the reason why you and Xion got sick was to do with the Organisation and… when… Xion originally came here." Roxas frowned, but didn't say anything, motioning for Axel to explain.

"Basically… you remember how it seemed to you that there had been more experiments, right before Xion was brought in?" Roxas nodded, "they were trying to make me break weren't they? By making it more painful for me." Axel shook his head, "actually… no. Know how they started taking more blood, they often took so much you'd faint. And how there was that weird experiment they did, the one you said felt like it was pulling you apart on the inside. Basically, they weren't just added on for the hell of it.

"They took a lot of samples of your DNA, and also of your power- those ones would have hurt more. And they basically… mixed it with Xion's DNA. She had been at the institute for about four months already before you finally met her. And a little while after the two of you met, they… finished. They basically… created another you, I guess you could say."

Roxas frowned, he felt… confused. Surely Xion could have told him this, maybe she didn't have enough time. Maybe she didn't know. "Why didn't they just do that with someone else then? Since Xion kept refusing?" Axel leant back and nodded, "they considered doing that, since after a while it became obvious that Xion wouldn't agree, but when they re-did all the calculations, they realised that she was like this because of the magical DNA bondage. It made replicas of your personality, so she became as stubborn and set in good and bad as you were. No matter what they changed, they realised that that would always be the end result. So they just decided to wait the two of you out. Your powers had actually been pulled apart, when they gave about half of them to Xion.

"What's happening here… well it looks like the fail-safe re-draw." Roxas closed his eyes and lay down, _'somehow I doubt that means anything good'_ he thought to himself, trying to smile but failing, after a moment he nodded for Axel to keep going, "you know how Xion had that out-of-the-blue, really sudden appointment? Well, that's when they did it."

Roxas felt some satisfaction from the fact that he had been right about that appointment, but it didn't really help much.

"It's basically where all the magic draws into one person. But the Superior just set it off in Xion; he didn't specify who it would all go to. Which is why you both got sick; the stronger person would get the magic pretty much. Since you're getting better, it's obvious that you're the one getting the powers."

Roxas sat back up quickly, staring at Axel, mouth dry, he asked, "so what happens to Xion?"

Axel leaned back, crossing his legs; he looked away from Roxas, before replying softly, "she dies."

Roxas didn't move, he stared at Axel, waiting, in a kind of horrified disbelief for him to turn back and say that it was some hopeless, really-out-of-place attempt to lighten the atmosphere. To say that it was simply a joke, to give him a bit of a scare. Axel didn't do any of that.

Roxas got to his feet stiffly, "so if it had been me?" Axel shrugged one shoulder, still looking away, "it was just as likely that it could have been you, if it had. You would be dying instead."

Roxas nodded, "I see," then turned to leave, "Roxas?" He paused then sighed and turned around, aware that the red head still had more bad news,

"Xion knew."

* * *

**I should probably explain this little bit here. Basically, Xion apologised about this pretty much. Because she didn't tell him about it, and she knew this was going to happen and she knew that Roxas might die, but she was scared to tell him because she was worried he might hate her.**

**Roxas: I could never hate Xion! I just... wish she had told me...**


	19. Like Mission Impossible

**This chapter made me a little sad...**

**Roxas: And the others... didn't?**

**Yes! They did! But this one made me sad too, and it wouldn't necessarily make others as sad as it made me or-**

**Roxas: Jessica doesn't own Kingdom Hearts... get it through your head people**

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen: Like Mission Impossible**

_'Staying still involves too much thinking now… and they aren't good thoughts being thought'_

Roxas went to the laboratories, Axel's plea still in his mind, _'don't do anything stupid, please? Just wait a little longer, soon… we'll all be ready, just wait until then.'_ Roxas knew Axel was talking about the escape, they would all be able to get out of here. Which is why he was doing what he was doing now.

He wanted to find out why the Superior had just decided all of a sudden to do the re-draw. He wanted to find out if there was a way to reverse it.

Xion had known, she had known that one day, because of her he might die, or that because if _him_ she might be the one to go. She had known, but she hadn't told him. It hurt to think of, so he decided to not worry about it for the moment, instead, he would find a way to help.

Number V came out of the laboratory, Roxas knew the door was usually locked, so he manipulated the light around himself; directing it elsewhere. He wasn't exactly invisible, but unless someone knew he was there, they wouldn't notice him.

The blonde slipped through the door, it occurred to him that the Superior would know where he was because of the transmitter chip, and he bit his lip.

The room was empty, so he let the magic draw back inside of him, he was clearly there, but he knew there was no point worrying about cameras being in the room, it was best to not have any… visual evidence of what happened in there. Just in case. Beside, if they were already aware of his being here, he didn't want to waste energy.

He went quickly over to the silver door on the other side of the room. He knew that behind it was the Superior's lab reports, experiment results, plans, aims. That would be the ideal place to find his answers. He hoped the Superior would leave him be for even a few minutes, opting to allow this intrusion in favour of some of the entertainment it might provide. Aware that there were eyes watching, he knelt down by the door, it was locked, but he could fix that.

He reached into his shirt, and pulled out a chain. On it was Oathkeeper and Oblivion, he smiled, he had managed to keep a hold of them all these years, though he had almost lost them for good, more times than he would care to count. Some time ago, a new addition had been added onto the chain. A paperclip. He knew it was always useful to have one around, and he saw great irony in the fact that he would keep it with his keys.

In its way, it was a key as well.

He unwound it, pulling it off the chain, then carefully, frowning slightly as he looked from the lock the paperclip, he bent it a few time before sticking it into the lock and jiggling it around for a bit.

There was a click. Roxas smiled.

He opened the door and hurried in, aware that any moment now he could be stopped.

Placing the chain on the edge of the desk, reminding himself to put it back on later, he began rifling through the papers on the desk, he couldn't help but acknowledge at the back of his mind, how similar this situation was to some of the situations he had read in spy books.

He put another sheet to the side, when a name caught his eye; he stopped and picked up the sheet of paper labelled with both his and Xion's name. He read through it quickly, found information that confirmed what Axel had told him. There was nothing about how to reverse it.

He got to the last page, reading through it quickly he froze, the paper fell from his hand and he stared at where it had once been, eyes wide with shock.

"Reading time's over tiger," he heard someone say from behind him, and turned around to see Number II leaning nonchalantly against the doorframe.

He narrowed his eyes, composing himself, pushing what he had just learnt to the back of his mind, before strolling out of the room, walking past the man, "you don't need to tell _me_ that, I was finished anyway." An arm gripped his, right where an old experiment gone wrong had left it permanently sore, "maybe next time, you had better stick to kiddy books. This stuff is a bit more for the big kids, than for a child like you, what would _mummy _say if she caught you reading such naughty material." He spoke as though he were scolding a child, and all the while his grip on Roxas' arm tightened.

Roxas bit his lip until it bled to stop himself from giving Number II a reaction, he wanted to start crying- the pain in his arm was morbid- but he kept his face blank. And after a moment or two, his arm was released.

Roxas stumbled out of the room, he paused for a moment outside, leaning against the wall to allow the blackness that had started at the edge of his vision to fade away. He knew that Number II had been aware of the pain he had been afflicting, completely aware. He was the one that had botched the experiment, as payback for when Roxas flailing had taken out one of his eyes in a previous experiment.

It still gave him great satisfaction to see that eye patch placed on Number II's scowling, scarred face.

Roxas got to his feet and walked to his room, only once he was laying down on his bed, with the door locked, did he think about what he had read.

The Organisation had wanted a way to skip the voluntary sacrifice stage, in the goal to achieving the necromancy. Because of their connection, they had decided to do the re-draw. That way, one of them would die.

They could use the other to try and bring them back, and hopefully, that initial connection, would be enough to bypass the need for a willing soul.

Roxas felt sick, he hugged the pillow and buried his face in it, then after a few moments reached into his shirt for his chain. He found nothing, "I… left it… there." He whispered to himself in disbelief; tears sprang to his eyes as he buried his face in the pillow, trying to reassure himself, _'it's okay, maybe I can get it back somehow, just slip back in later and take it, I'll get it back. It'll be fine.'_

Xigbar didn't like that blonde, he was too stubborn, acted so self-righteous, and he wasn't nearly scared enough of him. He frowned as he watched the boy walk out of the room, childishly wishing that he would trip and fall, so he could laugh at him, enjoy the other's misery a bit.

Five minutes after he had gone, Xigbar turned to clean up the study room, sighing. It had the Superior's orders, so he'd do it, but he wouldn't do it happily.

He saw a chain on the edge on the edge of the desk. It had two keys on it, as well as a paperclip that looked like it had been bent out of shape, then bent back into shape, multiple times. As he watched, it began slipping, he stepped forward and caught it before it could hit the ground, holding it up to his good eye, he inspected it.

It looked shiny, as though whoever owned it took care of it, but it also looked old, like they had been in possession of it for a long time, it had that feel around it.

Then he recalled, one experiment, they had been checking someone's heart, they had been wearing this chain, and had asked to not have it taken off.

He smiled, looking back at the door that Number XIV had just walked out of, "well, well tiger, guess this is pretty important to you, huh?"

He tucked it into a pocket, before going back to sorting out the papers, a smile now set firmly on his face. He didn't mind having to clean up after the blonde now, that was for sure.

* * *

**I just think it's sad that he lost his necklace after all these years.**

**Roxas: Then why did you make me lose it! That was all I had left of my life before the Organisation!**

**Sorry... but it was- maybe- necessary!**

**Roxas: *pouts***


	20. Happenings

**This is one of the chapters that made me reluctant to upload. People are going to be angry at me for this.**

**Roxas: Why?**

**...RokuShi is no more.**

**Roxas: What! What hap-**

**I don't own Kingdom Hearts or RokuShi or any of that stuff...**

**I'd say enjoy but... I don't think you will so... read!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty: Happenings**

_'So many things happening at once, important things… no one can keep up'_

He hadn't got his necklace back. It was about a week later that it happened. Roxas was completely better, and Xion had gone into something of a coma. She was still alive, in fact, she looked simply like she was sleeping. But she wasn't waking up.

She was getting thinner and thinner since she wasn't eating much, only what Roxas and the rest were able to dribble into her mouth.

Then Roxas found Axel, Riku, and Kairi standing with many of the other people at the institute, looking nervous. They were mostly sitting around, talking, trying to keep up an air of normalcy. Roxas knew something was going on the instant he walked into the room. Demyx was there was well, he could see him leaning against a wall, singing softly to himself, a habit he did whenever he was excited or experiencing a lot of nerves. Zexion wasn't in sight. Axel, Riku and Kairi saw him, and grabbed him, dragging him up to the clock tower where they wouldn't be heard. "The escape is on." Axel told him softly, "Zexion is disabling the barrier as we speak." Roxas frowned, "what about Namine?" he asked looking over at Riku who stiffened, "she's away on some sort of mission," he whispered softly, clenching his hands into fists, "no one would listen to me when I asked them to wait."

Roxas nodded, "do you want me to go get Sora and Xion?" he asked, he was upset about Namine, but if he let that distract him, he would lose his only chance to escape, the three nodded, Kairi spoke up hesitantly, "do you want me to hel-" "it's okay Kairi. I'll find Sora, and he can help me with Xion." She nodded reluctantly and stepped back.

Axel spoke up again, "we'll wait for you as long as possible, okay?" Roxas nodded then turned and ran down the stairs from the clock tower. He would have to be quick.

Roxas checked Xion's room, to make sure Sora wasn't sitting with her, talking to her. He wasn't. He turned around and ran off, promising himself that they wouldn't leave Xion behind, they would bring her with them and find a way to make her better…

Sora was bored, he couldn't find anyone. Actually, that wasn't true, he had found a whole bunch of people near the exit of the institute. But none of them were his friends, so he moved on.

But no matter where Sora looked, he couldn't seem to find anyone.

He had thought he had heard Roxas calling out his name at one point, but when he had listened again, he hadn't heard anything.

He had a feeling that something important was happening today, and he wondered what it could be. He decided that when he found Roxas, he would ask him.

But he didn't find Roxas, he couldn't find him anywhere.

Finally, Sora gave up. Looking for someone to talk to was just as boring as standing around with no one to talk to.

He sighed, talking wasn't fun unless there was someone pretending to listen.

He looked around, realising that he was near Xion's room. Shrugging one shoulder he thought, _'why not?'_ and headed over.

Sitting down next to her bed, Sora glanced at the girl- her eyes were still closed, she still wasn't moving- and frowned. He _was_ worried about her. About what was happening to her. He had the feeling that Roxas knew, and maybe Axel too, but they weren't telling him anything.

It annoyed him.

Sora didn't like not knowing things.

He began to speak, then stopped before he had even said a word. He looked at Xion again, _'something's not right'_. He frowned, then leaned in a little, looking at her closely.

Then he realised.

His heart dropped, and tears sprang to his eyes.

He leapt backwards and he stared at the girl with disbelief.

The girl who wasn't breathing.

The girl's whose heart had stopped, at some point, when no one had been around to see it.

Xion, the girl who had been his friend.

Xion was dead.

* * *

**There you go...**

**Roxas: What happened?**

**Sh... you're not allowed to know yet...**

**But... you said something about RokuShi being no more! Wha-**

**You're not meant to know yet... sorry **


	21. Run

**Author's Note has vague spoilers... don't read until afterwards... or... just... don't read... depends whether or not you're interested in my ramblings :3**

**Bec is sitting next to me while I upload this... so I am slightly concerned for my life... though she did promise she wouldn't hurt me for whatever I do in this fanfic... I guess now is the time to find out!**

**Roxas: Why would she hurt you?**

**Because she loves Axel.**

**Roxas: ...Why?**

**Um...**

***Happy voice* I don't own Kingdom Hearts and I'm not going to say anything else because I am spoiling things for people right before they read them so I'm going to stop now!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-One: Run**

_'You search everywhere… but he's not anywhere'_

Roxas ran, searching for Sora. He wasn't anywhere. He was getting worried…

Sora stumbled out of the room, he couldn't stay in there. Xion had been his friend, but that wasn't Xion. Because Xion was dead. _'Dead, gone, deceased'_ his mind chanted. But no matter what word it used, it still meant the same thing. And it still hurt.

Sora's heart clenched, he hadn't been the closest of friends with Xion, but that didn't mean her death didn't affect him. And he _was_ close to Roxas, and he dreaded to see the blonde's reaction.

He didn't know what to do…

Sounds permeated the wall, screaming, light flashing, fire. Roxas ran over to a window, people were running, the escape was on.

He was being left behind.

He panicked, "Sora!" he cried out desperately. He wouldn't leave his friend. He couldn't…

Sora heard screaming, looking out of a window, he saw light flash, he saw fire and people running. He frowned, wondering what was going on. Then shook his head, he didn't care. It had nothing to do with him. _'Probably another of the Organisation's experiments'_ he thought to himself in disgust.

"Sora!"

He looked around, it sounded like Roxas. The he frowned and shook his head. Earlier he might have gone running to that voice, but now… it would mean he would have to tell him what had happened to Xion. He couldn't handle that, not now…

Roxas couldn't believe it. He sank down to the ground, back against a wall. The noise had stopped. Everyone had escaped.

Everyone except for him.

And Sora.

And Xion.

He drew his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them burying his face in his knees. The tears fell. And there was no one left to see them…

Sora ran through the institute, if he could find Axel, or maybe Riku, they would know what to do. Maybe there was a way to bring Xion back.

He stopped, and frowned. There was Axel, and Riku, and Kairi. Only, they were on some of those experiment tables. Being pushed along by some of the organisation members.

And they weren't moving.

His eyes widened as he realised. They were dead. So were the other people on those tables. Being pushed along like that, _'but why?'_ his mind screamed, he had no answer.

Number XII pushed Kairi past him, and he felt tears fill his vision when he saw her eyes open. She reached out to him and he grabbed her hand. Number XII stopped, frowning, but silent, allowing them a moment for Kairi to say what she wished to say.

She opened her mouth and Sora leaned in, he tried not to wince at the pained expression the red head made, it broke his heart to see her like this. "I waited for you Sora. We all did. Me and Riku and… Axel. We waited for you and Roxas and Xion. I wanted us to escape together, we could have run off, we could have shared a paopu fruit together. But you didn't come. I'm sorry. We had to leave without you. Not that it did us any good. We waited too long I guess." She went to say something else, but then her grip on Sora's hand loosened, the light in her eyes dulled.

Number XII grabbed the end of the table and pushed again, forcing Sora out of the way.

Sora sank to the ground, had the escape been today? Had that been what all the noise was about? Kairi said they had been waiting for him and Roxas… and Xion. She didn't know that Xion was dead. She wouldn't ever know now. Had Roxas been looking for him? Is that why he thought he kept hearing the blonde's voice calling his name? Was Roxas still looking for him? Did Roxas escape? Did Kairi, Riku and Axel die because of him?

Sora felt his eyes prickle, they were all dead.

He drew his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them burying his face in his knees. The tears fell. And there was no one left to see them…

* * *

**I... actually have nothing left to say...**

**Bec: *sob* *sob* *sob***

**Shh... It's okay... I'll write a nice, fluffy AkuBeku after this to cheer you up**

**Bec: *sob* you better... and I want to eat cookies in it!**

**Um... okay**

**Roxas: Where's Sora? And where are ****_my_**** cookies?**

**Nowhere... not telling... I ate them**

***Crosses arms and shakes head***


	22. Cut

**Okay... this chapter is kind of short I guess.**

**Um... trying to upload all the chapters, but my internet isn't working at home so I'm having to do all this at school.**

**Ultimate Black Ace****- Thank you for reviewing each chapter! It makes me very happy and I will be going back and changing a few of these chapters once I've uploaded everything.**

**AkuBeku****- Bec... um... you are actually probably amused way too easily but... thanks anyway!**

**Yeah... I might do a sequel or I migt not... it depends on what people say they want and stuff.**

**Warning! This chapters a bit depressing!**

**Roxas: Haven't all of these been?**

**Yeah but... this is... this is another suicide chapter!**

**Roxas: ... I've pretty much given up on a happy ending...**

**Well you shouldn't!**

**Besides the alternative ending (which is actually basically something I did really jokingly, hence it is random and improbable and idioitc and out context) provides a very happy ending where no one dies or anything!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Cut**

_'When you can't handle it anymore… you take the coward's way out'_

Sora got to his feet; his heart hurt. It felt like being pulled into a million pieces. It was shattered. The tears wouldn't stop coming.

He remembered being told by a vaguely embarrassed Roxas not long ago, that the blonde had once tried to commit suicide by jumping off the clock tower.

He lifted his head at the thought. That would stop the pain. He frowned, the clock tower was too far away, though. He couldn't wait that long. He already felt dead, by the time he got up the clock tower…

He shook his head. He needed something quicker.

The laboratory room was still open, an idea came into his head. It was a good idea; though he didn't want to have to see his friends' bodies. It was okay, he wouldn't need to think about that much longer.

He slipped in; there was a lot of blood, but everyone was still. It seemed Kairi had held on the longest.

There wasn't a pull at his heart when he thought that. He felt detached from everything now. It all had a bit of a surreal quality to it. But he knew that if he didn't hurry, the feelings would come back. He would crumple onto the floor, and he would cry, and he wouldn't be able to handle it. Right now, he wasn't afraid. But if he waited too long, he would be.

He slipped over to one of the side benches and looked in the trays that rested on them. He hesitated for a moment, then grabbed the sharpest scalpel he could see. It would have to do.

He turned, everyone had won their freedom. They had either escaped, or moved on to a different place.

It was his turn now.

He looked at the scalpel in his hand, it looked sharp and dangerous. He looked around the room at the people lying still on the experiment tables.

"I can't do it here," he decided aloud, _'it would almost seem like I'm making fun of them.'_

So he walked out of the room. He saw Number XI heading towards him, and he ducked behind the wall as the pink-haired man passed. Sora didn't want to be stopped…

Marluxia headed into the laboratory room, once he was inside, the man smiled. He had seen the brunette boy. Obviously not all of the experiments had escaped. He had also seen the scalpel in the boy's hand. His intention was clear. He chuckled, looking forward to when someone would be finding him in some nearby bathroom…

Sora leant against the bathroom wall, he slid to the ground- his breathing was heavy, and he felt just the smallest traces of fear.

He knew that if he waited any longer he wouldn't do it.

He took a deep breath.

The scalpel flashed.

Blood spurted out of his arms, pain spread up them.

But it wasn't that bad. Compared to some of the pain he had experienced from the experiments.

He lay back and closed his eyes…

Xemnas heard a beeping from his computer. He headed over and checked it and saw that the transmitter in Sora's neck had sent out the signal that the boy's heart had stopped. He saw Roxas' transmitter bleep inconstantly, as the boy unsteadily moved around. He was headed in Sora's direction. He smiled, _'this could turn into a situation with more potential than even that of Number XIV'_.

* * *

**So there you go...**

**Sora was actually holding a lot of emotions in or... rather... he isn't too good at dealing with death.**

**Roxas: Wait what?**

**Heh heh... I didn't even do it from you're point of view for this one... uh... I won't say anything about what's going to happen but... yeah.**

**You guys are going to have to review when this is done by the way! To tell me if you want a sequel or not!**


	23. Bring Him Back

**Okay! Uploading a new chapter... do you all hate me yet?**

**But really... um, Roxas POV in this one (obviously), stuff goes down.**

**Roxas: What happens?**

**You've asked me that so many times and the answer will always stay the same- not telling!**

**Roxas: Well screw you!**

**Violent much?**

**Roxas: W-well I-**

**I don't own Kingdom Hearts and I have nothing to do with Square Enix! ...Also I think I maybe forgot the disclaimer in the last chapter too so... this extends to that as well!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Bring Him Back**

_'You didn't expect to find him like this… what do you do now?'_

Roxas stumbled through the rooms; all he knew was that he wanted to find Sora. He felt _furious_ at the boy; even though he knew it wasn't really his fault. He wanted him to know what had happened, what he had caused.

Roxas wanted Sora to realise that, because of him, neither them nor Xion would be escaping. And though part of his mind calmly repeated over and over again, that Sora wouldn't have known, that it wasn't his fault, Roxas didn't care. He was angry and upset and disappointed, and someone needed to know, and Sora was that person. Sora would have to be the person to take the full force of his anger.

He needed to yell at someone. That's all there was to it.

He found him in the bathroom, but when he saw the brunette lying there in his own pool of blood, any thoughts of getting angry at him vanished.

Roxas ran over, got to his hands and knees, ignoring how his clothes instantly began soaking up the red. He checked the brunette's pulse. None. No breathing either. Sora was dead. He felt his hands clench, the blood was still warm, obviously he had only just died. A few tears rolled down Roxas' cheeks, and he scrunched up his eyes to hold the rest back, crying wouldn't help anyone in this situation. He leant back- breathing out in small, desperate gasps, trying to calm himself- he needed to think calmly and clearly about this.

_'The Organisation is at the stage where they can bring people back to life now. Or at least, they're fairly certain. The only problem is, the need a willing volunteer to help with the resurrection. Something they just can't seem to find.'_

Axel's words came back to Roxas and his eyes flew open. There was no time to think the matter over carefully. He was meant to be used to bring Xion back to life instead, when she died, and the thought made him pause for a moment, what about Xion? Then he shook his head, Sora was dead now, there was still hope for Xion. Maybe they could help her once Sora was brought back.

He pulled Sora up and place on of his arms over his shoulders, holding him up, knees bent a little under the other boy's weight.

He didn't bother trying to work out why the brunette had suddenly tried to kill himself, that wasn't important. As he walked, as quickly as he was able to, to the laboratory, Roxas tried not to think about the blood that was dripping down his back, it made him feel sick, and all it would do was slow him down. He made himself not think about the fact that, by doing this, he was helping the Organisation, because then he might end up convincing himself to stop. And right now, all he knew was that he needed to keep his friend safe.

Sora had been his light at the institute, had been his memory of home.

Now that light had gone out, and the institute was a dark, unhappy place once more. It just needed to be relit, then maybe, everything would be okay.

The laboratory door was open, and Roxas walked in, not bothering to knock or give any warning to his presence. The Superior was there, waiting for him, of course he was, he knew where Roxas was at all times. All the other Organisation members, the ones that hadn't tried to escape, were there as well.

The Superior smirked, and Roxas felt very small and weak, surrounded by all the members, with Sora's body hanging over his arm. He knew he wouldn't be able to make them do anything if they didn't feel like it. All he could do was hope the Superior would find it useful.

"So Roxas, what have you brought us, hmm?" Roxas frowned, irritated by the patronizing voice he was being spoken to in. But he shrugged it off. For Sora.

"I need you to bring him back."

Number IV stepped forward, "we need a willing volunteer for that you realise?" Roxas nodded, aware that his next few words would probably be his death sentence, "I'll be that willing volunteer."

As though they had been waiting for him to say that, the Organisation members surged forward, taking Sora from Roxas and preparing equipment as quickly as possible for the experiment.

The Superior smiled, eyes glinting in the lighting,

"Let's get started then."

* * *

**Roxas what are you thinking?**

**Roxas: I need to bring him back, he's all I have left right now, I mean, everyone else has escaped right?**

**Um... yeah... totally**


	24. Focus

**I think I've probably already said this but... I am doing an alternative ending, but it isn't really amazing, and I hope none of you are really relying on it. It's actually really idiotic and now I don't know why I wrote it, if I do do a sequel it will be continuing on from the actual story.**

**Roxas: Why are you including the alternative ending if it's stupid?**

**Because I've already written it and it seems a waste to not use it!**

**Roxas: ...**

**Don't give me that look! You're planning on basically sacrificing yourself to bring back Sora!**

**Roxas: ... He has a better chance of living his life normally if he was to escape. I've been at the institute for years, mum and Ven might have even moved...**

**:O... :T... Now I feel bad.**

**I... I don't own Kingdom Hearts or... anything... read on!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Four: Focus**

_'Doubts cloud you're mind, you have to do this… but can you?'_

Roxas was strapped down to the table; Sora was next to him; still completely still, and not breathing. Roxas frowned and began to wonder if this was the right thing to do. Then he remembered one of the first instructions he had gotten, _'you have to be completely focused and willing, don't let anything distract or else anything could happen'_. He shook his head, it was too late to have doubts now.

He looked over at Number IV- who was checking one of the machines- and sighed. His body would be destroyed from this, he had been told. The discharge of energy and magic from his soul leaving his body would destroy it, cause it to crumple up and more or less turn to dust.

He squirmed uncomfortably at the thought of that being all that was left of him.

He frowned again, _'I need to work on my focus'_ he thought to himself irritably. He looked over at the brunette on the other table, picturing in his mind how Sora acted when he had been alive; as he had been instructed. He imagined giving that life back, that vibrancy and happiness, drawing it out of himself and pushing it into the brunette.

There was a buzz, then a whirr, and the machine started up. Almost instantly Roxas was hit by a pain that spread through his body ferociously, his body twitched, and he had to force himself to not spasm and writhe like he so dearly wanted to. If he moved too much, it could ruin the experiment.

Tears leaked out of his eyes and he squeezed them shut; the whirring got faster, and the pain got worse.

If he had been asked about it at a later time, he would have found it impossible to describe. It was like someone was slowing pulling him apart. He felt like he was burning and freezing at the same time on the inside. Lightning seemed to run through his veins, cause him to twitch, and muscles to jolt and lock.

Breathing heavily, he once more forced himself to imagine Sora, alive and smiling, with all of his friends.

He felt himself getting pulled from his body, and things started to shake, "it's the magical discharge," he vaguely heard the Superior say.

_'Sora… take care of Xion, okay?'_

He thought to himself, hoping that Sora would somehow know that he had asked him of this. For some reason, when he thought this, he felt a tug at his heart, as though Sora were trying to tell him that it would not be possible.

A door nearby flew open and the movement caught Roxas' eye. He looked over, and his eyes widened. He forgot about the pain, about the noise and operation. He forgot about Sora.

Because in that room he saw the bodies of Axel, and of Riku, and of Kairi. And he realised, they hadn't made it.

Pain filled the blonde's heart, and he felt it well up inside of him until he screamed in despair. The scream wrenched something out of him and there was a massive explosion of light and power.

The Organisation members were all thrown back in different directions, and were knocked out.

There was only one body left on the experimental tables.

* * *

**Well... look at that... I... don't know what to say here...**

***Attempted cheerful voice* I... won't be able to have my conversations with Roxas anymore...**

**That wasn't... I feel bad...**


	25. Escape

**To:**

**Ultmate Black Ace****-**

**AkuBeku****-**

******And **

**1mNobody****-**

**Thank you for reveiwing my chapters :3**

**I just read a depressing story! I was crying! The ending wasn't good... well... on the whole it was good but for the actual characters... not so happy ending... it was... yeah. I was going to say something else here but I forgot it- oh! -This isn't what I was going to say but- I got the Fullmetal Alchemist episodes of Bec! Now I have them on my computer! I'm so happy.**

**Am also working on making a few moves with some of my friends! Yay!**

**Bec called me short about five times today! :T**

**And... I'm just saying a bunch of random things aren't I?**

**Wow, without Roxas around to direct my speech I really just ramble...**

**I'm going to stop now.**

**I don't own Kingdom Hearts... I can never again ask Roxas to do the disclaimer for me... or can I?**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Escape**

_'She's your last chance… do you take it?'_

_A… Sor… a… Sora… Sora…_

"Sora!" "Wake up, Sora!" Roxas groaned and opened his eyes, looking up to see Namine looking down at him with a concerned expression. "What happened here?" He sat up, then remembering Sora, looked around, he saw the Organisation members unconscious on the ground, he saw Namine standing before him, but there was no Sora.

He groaned and buried his head in his hands, he had just wanted to help Sora, now he had made things even worse

He felt a hand on his shoulder, "Sora, what happened here?" "Why are you calling me Sora, Nam? It's me, Roxas." A frown appeared on Namine's face before she said uncertainly, "okay then… Roxas, can you tell me what happened here?"

Roxas fidgeted, then sighed, leaving the issue with his name to wonder at later, "everyone escaped, the barrier was shut down, everyone ran for it. But I couldn't find Sora, and I didn't want to leave without him." He frowned, he felt he was forgetting something important, but everything after he was strapped onto the experiment table was a blur, he didn't know what happened after that.

Namine stood up, "the barrier was shut off?" She whispered excitedly. Roxas nodded, Namine ran over to the computers- half were smashed in, but a few still looked to be working- after a few moments she squealed excitedly, "they're still off, so are the other defences!" She turned to Roxas eyes alight, "we still have time to escape if we hurry." Roxas felt his heart lift, then he paused and looked over at the Organisation members, "they're all unconscious, don't worry about them." Roxas nodded and was about to turn away when a flash caught his eye. He looked at Number II and edged a little closer; his chain was around the one-eyed man's neck.

Unable to believe it, he stepped closer, then reached out. His fingers brushed the silver chain, and he lifted it gently, there was Oathkeeper, and Oblivion, there was his little paperclip. He smiled, and felt tears come to his eyes. He quickly pulled it over the other's head, and placed the chain around his own, before turning to Namine and, with a small smile, took her hand.

They ran out of the room, out of the building, they kept on running.

After some time, they reached town; the town that Roxas could hear the bells coming from. Roxas looked around, eyes wide, Namine tugged his hand impatiently, "come on, So… Roxas… let's go. I know somewhere we can stay for the night. It's a bit close to _that_ place for comfort but… we'll have to deal with it for the night."

Roxas nodded and followed her, they headed into a hotel, Namine spoke to the receptionist, then they were given a set of keys and shown to a room. It was a small, singly room with two single beds in it.

Roxas turned and stared at Namine, "can I ask where the money for this is coming from?" Namine blushed slightly, "I'm sometimes sent away on… missions to deal with people who have found out about the Organisation. I have to wipe out any memories they have of us, basically, if I don't, the Superior just sends someone to kill them instead.

"Now I tend to just deal with anyone who finds out about the institute, if I can stop someone being killed, I will. That's all there is to it. Often, in order to wipe their memory, I have to stay somewhere a few days to get close to them. This mission was meant to take me longer than it did. So I had left over provisions and such to help us now."

Roxas nodded, "alright then," Namine turned to him, "Roxas, we better remove these transmitter chips, now is best." Roxas nodded again, "it'll hurt," she warned, Roxas shrugged, "I think we've both been through worse. Do you want me to do yours?"

Xigbar opened his eyes and sat up, looking around. The laboratory was in shambles, the two kids were gone. He frowned, then turned to Xemnas who was- typically- already up and at one of the computers, typing frantically. After a few moments he stood, pushing away from the table, cursing, "I can't access my computer. I don't know whether the experiment was a failure, or whether the boy simply woke up before us and ran."

Xigbar got to his feet and looked around- Larxene, Saix and Luxord were all already awake, but the others were still unconscious- he walked over to one of the computers and had a look. He frowned, something felt strange, he paused for a moment, trying to work out what was missing. Then he realised something, that feeling around his neck that had come to be familiar and comforting in the knowledge that it was around _his_ neck and not around that _blonde's_. It was gone.

He reached into his shirt to check, just in case. It wasn't there.

Slowly a smile crept up onto his face, an evil, devious smile, he turned to Xemnas, "oh… I wouldn't worry if I were you. He's alive alright."

* * *

**And lo and behold... basically, set it up like this so that a sequel is possble... which is why Xigbar realses that they were still alve and... stuff.**


	26. Reflection

**I'm at Bec's house right now! So I have access to internet now! Yay!**

**Bec has actually given me permission to use one of her plans to write a fanfic because she said she wouldn't. I think I'm going to include her planning, put it in as a prologue or at the end or something and mention that it was her idea.**

**So Roxas, you're still alive huh?**

**Roxas: Yeah, I guess couldn't save Sora after all**

**Don't be like that!**

**Everything will work out just fine I'm sure of it!**

**Roxas: Really?**

**...Maybe.**

**Um...**

**I don't own Kingdom Hearts at all in any way whatsoever!**

**Now... read on!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Six: Reflection**

_'It came as a shock to you… a voice you shouldn't be hearing, a face you shouldn't be seeing'_

Roxas woke up, the side of his neck throbbed, but he was expecting that. What he wasn't expecting was the curious feeling in his chest, it was heavy and weighed down, as though there were many hardships ad sorrows that Roxas was experiencing. But at the moment, he felt fine.

He had escaped from the institute after all, with Namine, even though he hadn't been able to save Sora.

As far as he knew, Kairi, Riku, and Axel, along with everyone else had escaped fine. And if his heart ached whenever he thought that, well, he thought nothing of it.

Maybe he could go back, sneak back into the institute, without the transmitter chips, the Organisation members would be none the wiser. He knows of all the defences around the building, he could easily avoid them. Maybe he could go back in and get Xion out. Though why, whenever he thought that, he had a feeling that that wasn't true, he didn't know.

"Sora," he frowned and turned around, Namine was standing there, seeing his look she blinked rapidly then started shaking her head, "oh! I'm sorry, I keep forgetting Roxas."

Roxas frowned, "what's to forget? How can you forget that I'm me?"

Namine looked at him uncertainly, "haven't you realised yet, Roxas?" All she got in response was a blank stare.

She looked around the room and frowned, "there aren't any mirrors in here, I guess you can't see it for yourself."

She got to her feet, then opened the curtains, it was dark outside now, from where Roxas was sitting, he could see Namine's reflection in the glass. She placed her hands on it momentarily, staring out of the window at the stars outside, "I wonder where Riku is?" She said softly.

Roxas heard, he felt that pull in his heart, and that tug in the back of his mind. It felt like he _should_ know, but he had forgotten, he shifted uncomfortably, wishing he could take the longing look on the other blonde's face away, wishing he could tell her for certain, the location of her love. Wishing that he could reassure her, so she could stop worrying about him.

Roxas shifted and leant back, trying to remember if he knew where Riku was, where they all were. He felt something shift in his heart, as though there were a sleeping beast in his chest that was stirring, _"Riku's dead"_ he heard a voice whisper. He sat up, shocked, it had sounded just like Sora. He frowned, _'Riku's dead?'_ he thought to himself, then Sora spoke again _"Riku's dead, Kairi's dead, Axel's dead… they're all gone, left us behind."_ Roxas shook his head in confusion, _'what do you mean? Is that you, Sora?'_

The voice was silent.

Namine turned around, looking back at Roxas, face composed, expression controlled. "Come here, Roxas, I want to show you something." Roxas got to his feet and walked over to where she stood by the window, she gestured towards it, and he turned and backed away in shock.

Roxas stared at his reflection, eyes wide, body trembling, but the boy staring wide-eyed back at him wasn't Roxas.

Blonde was replaced with brunette, blue a different shade, he blinked rapidly, thinking maybe it was just a trick of the light. It wasn't, "Sora." He whispered to the boy in the reflection.

Inside Roxas' heart, something stirred, then, as though the name had awoken it, it rolled forward, and took over.

* * *

**Um... words... once more, do not know what to say.**

**Roxas is unconscious so he won't be commenting here... **


	27. Control

**Nothing to say once more... yay!**

**I'm just chapter spamming a little over here in my corner... don't mind me**

**I don't own Kingdom Hearts**

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**Chapter Twenty-Seven: Control**

_'You thought it was yours… were you wrong after all?'_

Roxas had lost control, and he didn't know why, all he knew was that suddenly someone was moving his body when he didn't want to, and someone was speaking with his mouth, in a voice that wasn't his. But maybe this body was the thing that wasn't his. Sora's reflection in the glass. And he realised that the person using what he _thought_ was his body, was actually Sora using his own body. Then it sunk in that Sora was alive. He had brought him back, and he knew he would have smiled if he could. But he couldn't.

Instead, all he could do was watch as he/Sora sat down on the edge of the bed, looking at his/Sora's hands. He heard Sora think to himself, _'why am I still alive? I thought that I had killed myself'_ Roxas wished he could frown, because that's what he would do in this situation, instead he replied- hoping that Sora could hear him- by thinking, _"I brought you back Sora, I didn't want you to die."_

He/Sora jerked upwards, "Roxas?" he called out, looking around wildly, Namine frowned, "no Sora, Roxas isn't here. Listen, can you please tell me what's going on?"

Sora was silent, Roxas realised that the brunette didn't know, so he decided to tell him, _"I found you dead in the bathroom Sora, I brought you to the Organisation, and told them to bring you back to life using me. Now, for some reason, even though it worked, it seems my spirit is still inside of you or something, I don't know why. I had control over your body too until you woke up."_

Roxas felt his/Sora's mouth drop over and wished once more he could smile. Namine frowned, "can someone please explain to me what's going on? Sora, why have you been insisting that you were Roxas, I could have sworn the boy I was talking to before _was_ Roxas, where is he now? Why do you look so shocked? What _happened_? What did I miss?"

Roxas didn't bother saying anything else to Sora as they turned their head slowly towards Namine. Roxas was relieved that he didn't have to explain everything again to Namine, he was silent, as he listened to Sora speak, explaining what had happened to the best of his abilities, to the blonde.

Namine stared at them, her mouth open in a small, little 'o' as she struggle to process what they had just told her.

She stood up and leaned over, looking Sora in the eyes, then she stood up and walked over to her bed, sitting down on it, a frown on her face as she struggled to process what she had just been told. She turned to them, "so would Roxas be able to take over if he wanted to?"

Sora shrugged, "I'll ask him," but before he could, Roxas thought hurriedly, _"I've already tried, it didn't work. I think because this body was initially yours, you have more power than me."_ Sora repeated Roxas' words to Namine who nodded her head thoughtfully, "that would make sense, I suppose."

She looked out of the window and frowned at the night sky, "it's really late," she said slowly, "maybe we should get some sleep, it's not like making ourselves exhausted for no reason is going to help us out or anything."

Sora hesitated then nodded, laying back in his bed and pulling the sheets up. Namine turned the lights off, there was rustling from her side of the room, until, after some time quiet. Roxas was still awake, though Sora had fallen asleep, he was worried. He had heard some of the brunette's thought, and concerned had asked him _"Sora, you won't do it again right? I mean, try to kill yourself."_ He had felt the smile on Sora's face as he thought back in reply, _"don't worry, I'm hardly going to kill you, Roxas."_ Roxas, acting on instinct, surged forward and took over Sora's sleeping body, sitting up in bed.

He stared at his hands in surprise, and realised that he must be able to manipulate Sora's body so long as the brunette was sleeping. Sora's thoughts still worried him. He thought about the things Sora had told him in the past, he thought about the things that had happened in the past. He remembered that Sora had once told him where he lived, and he sat up straight in his bed as an idea came to him. He could give Sora his life back, so that he would never feel the desire to end it again.

He looked over at Namine, "Namine, are you awake?" He heard rustling, then a groan, "what is it Sora?" Roxas smiled, "actually, it's Roxas at the moment." He heard the blonde sit up, "Roxas?"

He nodded, even though he knew she couldn't see him, "yeah, and I got a plan to help Sora out, but I'll need your help."

* * *

**So... stuff happens**

**Sora: I can't believe I'm alive again**

**Well... you know... necromancy project or whatever...**


	28. Stolen Memories

**I don't own Kingdom Hearts...**

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**Chapter Twenty-Eight: Stolen Memories**

_'You want to help them, so you try to keep it secret… sometimes it can cause more harm than good'_

Namine and Sora left town early in the morning, curiously, Roxas was silent, even when Sora tried asking him some questions he got no response. "Maybe he doesn't want to talk." Namine suggested to him, when he mentioned it to her, he hesitated, _'she's probably right'_.

They walked for most of the day, Sora didn't know where he was going, and he didn't bother to ask. Somehow, he didn't think he would get an answer.

Images of Kairi, Riku, Axel and Xion kept flashing through his mind, but he was careful that Roxas never saw them. He realised quickly the neither Namine nor Roxas knew of the deaths of their friends. He intended to keep it that way.

Eventually they stopped, they headed into town and Namine payed for another room.

Sora looked around the room, he looked out of the window and frowned, turning to Namine he said, "you know what's funny?" Namine turned to him, head tilted to one side, "what?" Sora looked out of the window again, "this place seems really similar, I just can't put my finger on it." Namine stiffened, she bent down and straightened the sheets on her bed, not meeting Sora's eyes, "that is… funny."

Sora nodded thoughtfully, "Sora," he turned away from the window, "yeah, Namine?" the blonde looked at his bed, then back at Sora, then past him, out of the window, "um… I think you should go to bed now."

Sora frowned, "what? But it's still light outside!" he whined. Namine giggled a little, "I know Sora, but it's best you catch up on sleep for what happened, we've got a big day ahead of us."

Sora sighed and sat down in his bed, he looked out of the window once more before lying down, "speaking of tomorrow, Nam, what are the plans? I haven't really discussed anything with you and I feel bad depending on you for too long." Namine smiled, "it's fine, I don't mind."

Sora pouted, turning to her, but before he could say anything else Namine added, "don't worry, we'll talk about it tomorrow, okay?"

Sora nodded and closed his eyes, turning over and falling asleep quickly.

Sora sat up.

Namine turned to him, "you sure you're okay with this Roxas?" she asked softly, Sora… Roxas, turned to her and nodded, smiling slightly. "Sorry, I would stay with you if it was just me, but I'm worried about what Sora would do if he has to keep living with his memories, whatever they are."

Namine smiled faintly, "sure you know the way?" Roxas nodded and she got to her feet and gave him a hug and a kiss on the forehead, "take care, okay?" he nodded and Namine frowned, taking Roxas' hands she concentrated, drawing out Sora's memories of his time at the institute and giving them to Roxas.

Roxas gasped and let go of her hands, curling in on himself. Namine sighed, she leaned forward and brushed some of his hair out of his face, she waited long enough for him to uncurl then she turned and grabbed her bag, "I'm going to look for Riku. I hoped everything works out for you." She called out softly, then she left the room, before Roxas could reply. A small smile on her face, _'Roxas __**is**__ actually a lot like Riku.'_

Roxas sat gazing at the floor, Sora's memories flew in and out of his mind and he felt the tears rise to his eyes. _'They're all dead…'_ he thought to himself, shock resonated through his system, he couldn't believe it. He remembered how Namine said she was going to look for Riku and he felt like burying his face in his pillow and crying, she was going to be looking for a long time.

After a few moments, Roxas got unsteadily to his feet, he clenched his hands into fists, and held back the tears that wanted to fall from eyes that weren't his own, "I can be depressed another time, right now, have to use the time I got to get Sora home."

He walked out of the room, determined and strong.

* * *

**Roxas! ...He can't waste time crying and being depressed about their deaths either.**

**This was actually called Memories, then I realised I already had a chapter called that so I changed it a little :3**


	29. The End

**I do not own Kingdom Hearts...**

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**Chapter Twenty-Nine: The End**

_'Saying goodbye is hard… but when you can't remember afterwards, does it ease the pain?'_

Sora walked out of the hotel, he headed along the street and tried to remember what Sora had told him. He would get the brunette home, then he would draw back into the Sora's mind and stay there, he would take Sora's memories of the institute with him, he need never think about what had happened again.

Roxas knows he has to be quick, the second Sora wakes up, he'll gain control over his body once more. It would be best if they were home by then.

Roxas thinks of his own mother, and his twin Ven.

He knows that he will never get to see them now, they would go on with their life, they would have accepted that he wasn't coming back. He wouldn't' get to surprise them after all.

But Roxas wouldn't forget them.

He thought of Namine, he wished that he could have separated from Sora, maybe he could have stayed with her a little longer, he felt guilty leaving her alone like he did. What would she do now? Did she have any family?

He wondered if she would ever give up on searching for Riku, if she would realise that maybe, she wouldn't be able to find, no matter how hard she looked.

He hoped that she wouldn't be too hurt when she realises that.

He wondered if she would remember him and Sora as the years went on. He acknowledged that she might not want to remember them, since they would be reminders of a time less pleasant, less fun.

But Roxas wouldn't forget her.

He thought of Riku, they had been friends, but not for very long. He felt regret at the fact that they couldn't have resolved their differences sooner.

Riku had been a good friend.

He was gone now. He had been killed by one of the members of the Organisation.

But Roxas wouldn't forget him.

Kairi had been a sweet girl, the most important person to Sora. Roxas, now felt those memories that Sora had of Kairi.

She too was gone.

But Roxas wouldn't forget her.

Axel had been a member of the Organisation. Maybe it had been foolish to trust him, but Roxas had considered him one of his best friends. He _had_ trusted him. And now, like Kairi and Riku, he too, was gone.

But Roxas wouldn't forget him.

Xion was beautiful. She was smart, funny, cute and interesting. She had shown Roxas things he had never known before. He learnt so many new feelings because of her. She had taught him so much. And he had loved her so much.

She had lied to him. And she had kept secrets from him. But she had loved him too.

She too, was gone, Roxas had seen in Sora's mind. She had died.

But Roxas would never forget her.

He reached Sora's house and stopped outside the gate. The door opened, and a boy that looked not unlike Sora and Roxas stepped out, he had black hair and golden eyes. He froze when he saw Roxas, "Sora," he whispered, "where have you been? It's been almost six months!"

Roxas smiled as the boy dropped what he had and ran towards him. Everything would be okay, Sora would be okay. And even though he wouldn't remember any of them, that was okay.

Roxas would remember for the both of them.

He closed his and drew back from Sora's mind as the boy, Vanitas, reached them.

Sora collapsed and Vanitas cried out, calling to his mum who came rushing out to see her youngest son lying in his arms…

The next day, Sora awoke in the hospital, he frowned _'how did I get here?'_ he thought to himself.

Vanitas and his mum were sitting next to his bed and his eyes widened, as he sat up in bed he alerted them to the fact that he was awake, Vanitas grabbed his arm, "what happened? Where were you?"

Sora frowned, "I… don't remember."

He felt something cold against his chest, and on instinct, he reached into his hospital gown and drew out a chain with two keys and a paperclip attached to it. A feeling of fondness stole over him and he smiled softly,

"Not yet."

* * *

**And there is your ending! I'll upload the alternative ending now but... it is ridiculous... like something I'd some up in one of my rambles... just warning you.**


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